Luck of the Irish?
by RavynLex
Summary: Robin Kelly is a bit of an enigma to everyone around Ouran. Just who is this mysterious Irish transfer? How is Haruhi involved? And just what is the Host Club's interest? Follow Robin -Puck, if you please- navigate the maze of teenage life in the pink playground of the elite. (Rated T for now, may change later for dark and/or mature content)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Hi there, and welcome to my newest story! (Don't worry, poppets, I haven't forgotten Sky and her boys! "The Scarred Princess and the Knights of the Menagerie" WILL be updated soon! Have no fear!) Allow me to introduce you to someone new, and very special. Robin Kelly was born and raised in Ireland, but has spent the last two years in Australia before transferring to the elite playground known as Ouran Academy. Despite being raised with obscene wealth (as heir to Ireland's top music company), Robin is very down-to-earth and relatively humble. Robin also has secrets. Secrets Robin doesn't particularly want anyone to find out. Least of all the Host Club. Join us as we make our way through the maze that is high school!**

 **Trigger warning: There really isn't anything triggering in this first chapter, though there will be later on in the story. Robin is...unconventional, to put it delicately. All will be revealed in due time, of course. But for now, we'll stick with a slight air of mystery, shall we?**

 **I do not own Ouran or any canon characters or plot lines. I only own Robin and any related OCs and situations that deviate from canon. Reviews would be MUCH appreciated! Questions, comments, constructive criticism, I welcome it all. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows! Enjoy the ride!**

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Robin trudged down yet another tragically pink hallway. Long legs covered the distance swiftly. Dark red and black streaked hair fell in casual waves nearly to a slender waist. Bi-colored eyes searched the signs above doorways, wondering just where the new classroom was hiding. They were sure it was around here...somewhere... Ah! There!

Following a small group of blue and yellow uniforms into the classroom, the Irish transplant slipped into an open seat as discreetly as possible. Since said transplant was wearing black jeans, smoky gray button-up shirt, scuffed leather boots, and black leather jacket instead of any type of uniform, it failed dismally. Several pairs of eyes watched intently, causing full lips to curl into a small scowl. _Damn nosy rich kids. Don't you have anything better to do than gawk at the new student?_

They were spared having to converse with the new classmates, thankfully. The teacher walked in and called for attention. Despite their curiosity about the new student, everyone turned around and silently faced the front of the classroom. Robin started to breathe a sigh of relief, but didn't get the chance.

"Oh yes, we have a new student this year. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

 _No thanks, rather not._ Biting back the retort, Robin stood and bowed respectfully to the room after slinging the leather jacket over the back of their chair. Straightening up, they absently ran a hand through their hair before flipping it back over their shoulder.

"Hello. My name is Robin Kelly. Um. I recently moved here from Australia, but I'm originally from Ireland. I look forward to getting to know everyone."

With another quick bow, they sat back down as swiftly as possible. Pulling a notebook and pen from their bag, they huffed out a little breath and prepared to settle into the class work.

They ignored the looks from their classmates as best they could, striving to focus on the work instead. When they weren't looking at the teacher, they kept their head bent over their notebook, determined to do well in all their classes. A few shorter strands of hair fell into their face yet again, and they fished a bit of leather out of their pocket to tie it in a low tail, rolling their eyes at the murmurs of the girls around them. _Dreamy? Handsome? Jeez, seriously? I'm glad they seem to think I look hot, at least..._ With a tiny smirk, they twirled their pen between their fingers and went back to work.

When the final bell rang, Robin packed their things away and stood with a slight grimace. They untied their hair and shook it out, stuffing the leather cord back into their pocket as they sauntered out of the room, a little snicker escaping as the girls behind them squealed in adoration.

Shoving the stiffness in their muscles to the back of their mind, they wandered around the seemingly endless school. Everything was bright and cheery, ornate and fussy, and nearly every bit of it _pink_. They shook their head. All the colors in the world, and the school went with _pink._ They just didn't understand rich people. Never mind that they, themself, were the child of a very wealthy and prominent Irish family. They never considered themself a rich kid, they'd always had chores and responsibilities, just like any other kid.

 _Hrm. At least it's quiet here. Who in their right mind squeals like that in a_ _ **library**_ _, for God's sake?_ Bright eyes - one brown, one blue - wandered the empty hallway. A sudden tremor raced through them, causing them to wonder if the obnoxious school was haunted. They rolled their eyes at their own thoughts. _Yeah. Haunted, right. What is this, Hogwarts? Ohh, now there's a fun thought. Wonder how I could get my hair silver and green... Gotta rock the Slytherin pride, after all... Hmm..._

These thoughts carried them down to a dead-end. They blinked twice in confusion, then shrugged and turned back. Before they had taken three steps, a loud crash echoed from the room at the end of the hall.

They burst into the room without delay, intending to render aid as needed. But the scene that met their eyes wasn't an emergency. A short, disheveled brunette was being scolded by a rather pretty blond boy while several other young men looked on. The shattered remains of some blue pottery lay spread across the floor.

"Yikes. Hope that was a reproduction."

Several heads whipped around at the statement. Robin glanced around, waiting for an answer, and was rewarded momentarily. A raven-haired boy with glasses briefly explained that it was _not_ a reproduction, but rather, an original worth an obscene price. They winced in sympathy for the brunette, who had apparently knocked it off a badly-placed stand. The tall blond who had done the scolding bounced out of his seat and rushed over.

"Indeed! And in order to pay the Host Club back, the honor student, Haruhi Fujioka, will be our errand boy!"

"Errand boy, sure. Wait, Host Club? Ohhh, so that's what the girls in class were talking about."

The blonde went on a long-winded monologue about rich, handsome boys with too much time, princesses, something about an elite playground... Robin stopped listening almost immediately. They tuned back in with a start when the dark-haired one said their name.

"Robin Kelly, class 2B. Transferred from Australia, originally from Ireland. Heir to Ireland's foremost recording company, Cloverleaf Records. Decent enough grades, but a habit of fighting."

"Yeah, yeah. You seem to know everything, so you must be Kyoya Otori. Which would make blondie there Tamaki Suoh."

They turned to keep speaking, but the blondie in question struck a pose and smiled radiantly.

"I see my reputation precedes me!"

He closed the distance swiftly, reminding Robin of a strutting peacock. He had a pretty face, but they were starting to wonder if his head was just full of fluff and sparkles. They stared blankly as he went on another rant, something about the trials of being born beautiful and perfect.

"Ok, Narcissus, whatever you say."

With a little shrug, they turned away from the crestfallen blond, eyes settling back on the disheveled brunette. Haruhi Fujioka seemed just as lost as Robin felt. They walked over and patted the shorter teen on the shoulder in a show of solidarity.

"Tough luck, kitten. You gonna be alright?"

"All I wanted was a quiet place to study! Who the hell puts something that expensive on such a flimsy stand anyway?!"

Robin glanced at the stand in question, gave it a little nudge, then huffed out a little snort of sarcastic laughter as it wobbled precariously.

"Bloody hell, lads. I know you've got money to burn, but that's pretty damned irresponsible. Obscenely expensive bit of shiny, but you can't dish out for a sturdier display?"

Without waiting for a reaction, they turned back to Haruhi and spoke gently.

"If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know, alright?"

Fishing a pen from their bag, Robin snatched Haruhi's hand and scrawled a phone number on the upturned palm. They grinned lightly at the little brunette, who seemed even more confused.

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"We're both new here, so we ought to stick together, yeah?"

"I... I guess so. Thanks, Kelly-senpai."

Robin laughed quietly and ran a hand through their long hair, then shot a radiant grin at Haruhi.

"Please, kitten, none of this 'Kelly-senpai' business. Just call me Puck, alright?"

Haruhi scowled a little, no doubt slightly annoyed at the nickname, but seemed to think better of saying anything about it. It would be better to have at least one ally among all these rich bastards, after all.

Before either could say anything else, however, a pair of red-headed twins popped up, seemingly out of nowhere. Matching devilish grins adorned identical pretty faces. Robin groaned quietly.

"Puck? What kind of name is Puck?"

"Sounds like a chicken noise. Puck, Puck, Puck..."

Robin rolled their eyes as the twins flapped imaginary wings. _Ginger twins. Might as well be back with the Kelly cousins._ A slight sigh was issued, then a bright smile flourished. The twins seemed shocked, and took an immediate step back as Robin answered with theatrical grace that reminded them just a little of Tamaki.

"My dear sirs, have you never read the works of the great bard himself?"

"Huh?"

Robin cleared their throat and struck a pose, grinning wryly as they switched to English.

" _If we shadows have offended,_

 _Think but this, and all is mended,_

 _That you have but slumber'd here_

 _While these visions did appear._

 _And this weak and idle theme,_

 _No more yielding but a dream,_

 _Gentles, do not reprehend:_

 _if you pardon, we will mend:_

 _And, as I am an honest Puck,_

 _If we have unearned luck_

 _Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,_

 _We will make amends ere long;_

 _Else the Puck a liar call;_

 _So, good night unto you all._

 _Give me your hands, if we be friends,_

 _And Robin shall restore amends._ "

Applause greeted the slight bow at the end of their performance, causing a genuine smile from Robin. Tamaki looked as if someone had handed him the Holy Grail, and Robin took a step back, keeping a watchful eye on the hyperactive blond.

"You must _really_ like Shakespeare, huh, Robin-chan?"

They turned at the question, only just noticing the last two people in the room. An eyebrow arched at the sight; the tallest person they had seen thus far in this new school, and a rather short blond who was clutching a plush pink bunny. Both boys looked incredibly familiar, though Robin was unsure why. Until a light flickered on in their head, causing their jaw to drop open comically and their eyes to widen in shock.

"Holy Mary, mother of God."

Robin shook their head roughly, snapping out of the slight trance. They bowed deeply to the two young men. When they spoke, it was in a serious, almost reverent tone.

"It's truly an honor to meet the great Haninozuka-sama and Morinozuka-sama."

There were shocked looks from all corners. The twins were looking as if Robin had suddenly sprouted an extra head, and Tamaki rushed off to pout in a corner. Robin briefly thought they saw mushrooms growing from the blond's head and shoulders. Kyoya cleared his throat quietly.

"How do you know Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai?"

"I don't. I was lucky enough to be in the crowd last summer when Haninozuka-sama took the national title again. I had to miss Morinozuka-sama's win, unfortunately, as I'd had the flu at the time. My cousin said you were amazing though, Morinozuka-sama."

Mori looked more shocked than the other Hosts had ever seen him, and a faint blush stained his cheeks. He seemed...almost embarrassed by the praise. Honey, on the other hand, looked positively enchanted. He grinned radiantly and bounced over to Robin.

"Since you're a second year, you can just call us Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai like everyone else, Robin-chan. So you like karate and kendo, huh? Which do you like better? Do you practice? I bet you're really good! Hey! Do you like cake? Which kind is your favorite?"

Robin's eyes grew wide at the blond's rapid speech and subject change. They blinked in confusion for a moment, until everything sank in. Then they smiled lightly and replied happily enough.

"Thank you Honey-senpai, that's very kind of you. I love watching both karate and kendo, as well as several other martial art forms. I did practice karate for a few years, but I had to stop a couple years ago for health reasons. I was never all that great anyway, so it's alright. And yes, I do like cake on occasion. I can't say I have just one favorite, though lately I've been kind of addicted to a raspberry-lemon one from this little bakery near my brother's restaurant."

"That's rather odd. My research shows you being an only child."

Robin turned back to Kyoya with a roll of their eyes. They gave a little shrug and answered with a carefully guarded tone.

"Legally, biologically, Seamus and I aren't related. But he _is_ my brother. ' _The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.'_ You don't have to be blood-related to be family. And biological ties are meaningless without love and acceptance. Believe me."

With a slight grimace, they ran a hand through their hair, then flipped the long black and crimson strands behind their shoulder again. They rubbed a spot just below their collar bone as a faint pain tried to bring back unpleasant memories. They shook their head lightly and plastered a little grin in place, turning back to Haruhi.

"Remember kitten, call me if you need anything. See you tomorrow, lads."

Robin flashed a tiny, genuine smile to Honey-senpai before striding out of the room. This fancy new school might not be so bad, after all.

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 **AN2: First person to correctly guess why Robin called Tamaki "Narcissus" gets a shout-out in the next chapter! And so will the first person to correctly identify where Robin's speech comes from. No cheating! Until next time, poppets!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Welcome back! Puck's very excited to see you again! And your faithful author is absolutely thrilled with the response to this story so far! You're all beautiful, I love you!**

 **Last chapter, I promised a special shout-out to the first person to tell me why Puck calls Tamaki "Narcissus". Unfortunately, the actual first person to do so was a guest. But xXRitz-aholicXx gets a special mention for being the first non-guest to get it! Well done, Ritz! However, no one seemed to get the speech that Puck's nickname is from, how sad. That would be Puck's speech at the end of Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream". (Faithful author is not a huge Shakespeare fan, fyi. Rather, I memorized it from the Robin Williams movie "Dead Poets Society". One of the students plays Puck on stage, and performed wonderfully. I highly suggest the movie if you haven't seen it. But be careful! There is a major character death near the end!)**

 **Triggers: Honestly, I don't think there are any. This chapter follows the end of the first episode of the anime, so Tamaki walks in on Haruhi changing. Things go a bit differently, obviously, since Puck is here.**

 **We love everyone who follows, favorites, and/or reviews this story!**

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-A few days later-

Robin found their way outside after classes. There was a huge, beautiful rose-bush maze that they wanted to check out. But their attention was drawn by something that made them wonder what could possibly make people spend so much money so carelessly.

They stood beside a little man-made pond, jaw gaping slightly in a vaguely offended way. A statue poured water steadily into the pond. A small, child-like figure -was that supposed to be a cherub?- stood proudly on a pedestal. The reason Robin stared so blatantly was that this alleged-cherub wasn't pouring the water from a pitcher, or even holding a playful spitting pose. No, the statue was, in fact, made to look as if it were quite happily _urinating_ into the pond.

Robin scrubbed a hand across their face and shook their head lightly. They were just starting to walk away, when there was a loud _splash_ that caused a slight yelp to fall from their lips. Turning back, they noticed several books and other school supplies, as well as a slightly worn bag, scattered in and under the water. Looking around, they saw no one. _The hell? Then who...?_ A thought flittered through their mind, and they looked up at the windows of the school. Just in time to catch a flash of dark red and pale yellow walking away.

Before they could make up their mind about the culprit, running footfalls could be heard. A short brunette wearing the male uniform rushed toward the pond, grumbling and cursing quietly. Robin raised one perfectly-shaped eyebrow at the voice, then blinked in momentary shock.

"Haruhi?"

"Huh? Oh, Puck-senpai. What are you doing out here?"

"I was going to check out the rose maze, but this obnoxious statue caught my eye first. Who chucked your stuff out the window?"

Haruhi groaned and went back to searching the water before answering. Robin shook their head at the vague, dismissive reply. Haruhi was obviously hiding something. They weren't going to complain though, it wasn't like they didn't have secrets of their own. With a little shrug, they set down their own bag and leather jacket, divested themself of boots and socks, rolled up their sleeves, and stepped into the pond.

"Oh man, that's slimy. Gross. Here's one of your books, kitten."

"Senpai, you don't have to help, I can manage."

"It's just some water, not really a big deal. Say, you clean up pretty good; I almost didn't recognize you."

Haruhi snorted, but hadn't managed to form a reply before the pair heard more footsteps. Both heads turned at the sarcastic comment that issued as the blonde peacock from the other day approached.

"You've got a lot of nerve, commoner. Skipping out on Host Club to go wading?"

"Oi! Leave Haruhi alone, Narcissus. Some wench went and chucked his bag in this slimy little pond."

Tamaki wilted at the harsh tone to their voice. Haruhi just looked shocked that one of the rich people was defending her. Robin flipped their long, thick braid back over their shoulder as they stood, clutching the last item to be retrieved: a small black wallet.

"Here you go, kitten. Pretty sure this is the last of it."

"Oh man, thanks, senpai. I'd be so screwed if I lost that."

"No problem at all. Come on, I'll escort you back to your club, make sure your bag doesn't mysteriously try to commit suicide again."

While Haruhi laughed quietly and shook her head at the silly image Robin's words conjured up, they reached out and grabbed the still-pouting Tamaki by the arm.

"Come on, Cissy, let's go."

"My name's Tamaki, not Cissy."

Robin rolled their eyes and failed to stifle a snicker at his pouting tone. He sounded _so childish!_ They cleared their throat quietly and turned to the over-dramatic blonde, Haruhi's laughter a perfect backdrop.

"Yes, I know. Tamaki Suoh, only son of Chairman Suoh. Founder and president of Ouran's first Host Club, though God only knows why you thought this place needed one. 'Cissy' is simply a shortened form of Narcissus. I happen to think it's a rather fitting nickname. Now stop wasting time, or I'll drag you by your ear."

Tamaki's pout had gotten worse during their little rant, but he squealed at the threat and took off running. They burst into laughter at the frightened blur before sauntering after with Haruhi, who was startled into renewed giggles herself.

The duo followed after the scampering blonde, chatting amiably as they traversed long corridors. Tamaki disappeared into the room before they could catch up, and Robin grinned a little in smug satisfaction. It felt kind of good to scare the pretty boy just a little. They'd probably make amends within a day or so, but it was fun for the moment. They opened the door to usher Haruhi inside, and their gaze landed on something that sent a tiny shiver of apprehension up their spine.

Tamaki was standing next to an elegant looking redhead wearing the yellow Ouran uniform dress. Robin held back a sneer. They wondered why no one else seemed to notice that the girl's body language and facial expression screamed "Spoiled, jealous bitch." Their suspicion cranked up a notch when they heard Tamaki tell Haruhi that the girl -Ayanokoji, apparently- had designated him. _What is that stuck-up wench gonna do now?_ Ignoring the room full of girls staring and murmuring, they strode over to Kyoya, who was seated alone and busily typing on his laptop. They spoke quietly, keeping their voice polite.

"Excuse me, Ootori-san?"

Kyoya's voice was pleasant, business-like, and completely fake as he answered. Robin barely resisted rolling their eyes.

"What can I do for you, Kelly-san?"

They flicked a quick gaze around, making sure no one was listening. Seeing no attention drawn their way, they leaned in slightly and lowered their voice conspiratorially.

"I think someone is harassing Haruhi. Especially since I just helped fish his school books out of the pond. Would it be alright if I stuck around to keep an eye on him? I'll stay out of everyone's way, you won't even remember I'm here."

Kyoya eyed Robin carefully, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. The light glinted off the lenses, shielding his eyes from their view as he contemplated their request. After a moment, he inclined his head in the barest nod and answered in a more genuine tone.

"I believe you're correct, Kelly-san. It certainly wouldn't hurt to have another set of eyes on our new little Natural. I have a feeling things will be coming to a head very shortly."

"That's almost a relief. I'm sure Haruhi will be glad to have it over with."

With a tiny bow of thanks, Robin departed from Kyoya's space and made their way to an area of the room devoid of people. They sat at an empty table and stretched their legs out before them, crossing ankles covered by neon-green boots. They fished through their bag for a moment, then pulled out a worn paperback novel and settled in to read, checking often on the little brunette across the room.

Their eyes flicked upward just in time to see Ayanokoji grab Haruhi by the lapel and give a tremendous pull. Teacups, saucers, and a small vase of roses all shattered as the pair upended the table and went crashing to the floor. The redhead screeched about the "commoner" attacking her, and Robin leapt to their feet. The twins managed to dump pitchers of water on the duo just a second before they got there. They couldn't hold back the sneer this time, glaring down at the drenched girl.

"You really should be more aware of your surroundings before you start hurling lies like that. Not only did you pull Haruhi down yourself, but it was you who threw his bag in the pond. My eyes may be two different colors, but they both work just fine."

Tamaki helped the redhead to her feet, and was calmly berating her and defending Haruhi. Robin turned to the brunette and offered a helping hand up as Kyoya quietly ushered the rest of the girls out of the room.

"You alright, kitten?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Puck-senpai. I just don't get why she was so jealous in the first place."

"Probably spent her whole life thinking the world revolves around her, and just found out otherwise. People like that are always shocked to discover that they're not actually the sun."

Robin shrugged and patted Haruhi's shoulder. Then grimaced slightly and wiped their hand on one denim-clad leg, having momentarily forgotten that Haruhi's uniform was wet. At that moment, Kyoya appeared beside them, holding a bag out to the brunette with a small, calculating smile.

"I'm afraid this is the only spare uniform we have. But it's better than a wet one, right?"

Haruhi peeked into the bag while he was talking, and nodded slightly.

"Yeah, thanks. I'm gonna go change."

Robin glanced around as the damp teen walked off. They only just noticed the lack of girls. Before they could comment, Honey bounded up to them, all smiles and sunshine. They offered the blonde a genuine grin in return.

"That was really nice of you to defend Haru-chan like that, Robin-chan! How did you know Ayanokoji did that?"

"I was by the pond when she chucked the bag out the window, and I just happened to look up in time. That girl's got pretty distinctive hair. And I would've known she pulled that stunt with the table, even if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. She's just...not a nice girl."

They shrugged again. This wasn't the time to explain how and why they became such an excellent judge of character. Honey nodded in a knowing manner, and they made a quiet sound of relief at not having to elaborate. They glanced around, and noticed Tamaki approach a curtained-off area with a stack of towels. A sudden unpleasant feeling raced up their spine, and they took a step in that direction, but it was already too late. They watched with mounting dread as Tamaki's face turned pink, then red.

"You're a _girl_?"

"Biologically speaking, yeah."

"Damn kitten. You know, it's totally unfair that you look that cute in _both_ uniforms."

Several heads turned to Robin in shock, though most turned straight back to the sight of the adorable brunette decked out in the girls' yellow uniform dress for the first time. More than one pair of eyes lingered on them, however.

"It's ok, I guess. Not as comfortable as the guys' though. These sleeves are weird _._ Way too tight."

Robin grinned as they eyed the sleeves. They had to agree, those were just _weird_. Whoever designed those dresses was clearly _not_ looking for the wearer's comfort. They snickered at Haruhi's obvious distress.

"Those stuffy blazers and ties don't look so comfortable, either. Better you than me, either way."

"Wait just a minute here! Am I the only one that didn't know that Haruhi's a _girl_?!"

With a roll of their eyes, they reached out and flicked the end of Tamaki's nose, causing the blonde to yelp and fall backwards. The twins broke into mad giggles as he once again fled to pout.

"It seems as though you are the last to find out, Tamaki. Though I must say, Kelly-san, I'm a bit surprised that you knew. You _did_ refer to Haruhi as male earlier."

"I noticed some things, like the lack of an Adam's apple. Honestly, kitten, I thought you were trans or maybe non-binary. I would've never outed you, though."

"I don't really care if you guys recognize me as a boy or girl. It's not like it matters, anyway."

Haruhi shrugged, fiddling with the little bow at the top of the dress. Robin grinned broadly at her and threw devil horns in a "rock on!" gesture. The petite girl offered a bemused smile in return.

"Absolutely true! What's on the inside is what really matters. But, just for clarity, which pronouns do you prefer? If you have a preference, anyway."

"I...never really thought about it, senpai. Everyone thinks I'm a boy, since I'm a Host. If I tell everyone I'm a girl, I can't host anymore, and it'll take way too long to pay off my debt if I get knocked back to errand boy. I don't know..."

Robin nodded, well acquainted with the indecision residing in Haruhi's eyes. They reached out and patted her on the head with a little reassuring smile.

"It's alright, kitten. Once you actually start thinking about it, it can be a difficult decision. I know, believe me. How about we just keep using the male pronouns in front of the other students for now? That way you can keep your Host position while you figure things out."

"I think Kelly-san has the right idea, Haruhi. You're a natural at Hosting, you already have several ladies requesting repeat appointments."

"Great. Thanks Kyoya-senpai, Puck-senpai."

The others had been surprisingly quiet during this interaction, causing Haruhi and Robin both to glance around with vague feelings of unease. The twins had apparently gotten bored; they were lounging on one of the sofas, playing handheld video games. Honey and Mori sat at a nearby table, Honey glancing back and forth between Robin and Haruhi. Kyoya strode over to where Tamaki still pouted, crouching down to speak in a hushed tone to the blonde. Robin's unease grew as he turned to stare at them for a brief moment, a strange look in his pretty violet eyes.

Before they could decode the look, the blonde yelled something unintelligle and leapt to his feet. He rushed over and stood far too close to them for their liking, staring down at them imperiously. They raised an eyebrow at his drastic stance, staring right back without concern. His gaze faltered momentarily; apparently, he assumed they would back down at the look. Kyoya took a stand beside Tamaki and adjusted his glasses so that the light would flash on the lenses, obscuring their view of his eyes. They resisted the urge to roll their eyes or snicker. It was extremely difficult.

"Is there a reason I'm getting the stink eye, Cissy?"

Tamaki wilted, barely resisting the urge to flee to his pouting corner again. His mouth opened and closed a few times as he struggled to regain his composure. Kyoya rolled his eyes at the blonde and nudged him out of the way, opting to take the lead himself.

"We're just wondering what to do about our little...predicament. If Haruhi wants to keep being a Host, we really can't afford to let her true gender become known."

Robin took a single deep, calming breath. _Stay frosty. No violence, you promised Shay. Just...stay frosty._ Their voice sounded perfectly even when they replied.

"If you think I would out Haruhi for any reason, you're sorely mistaken. Outing someone else is an extremely disgusting thing to do. Not to mention cowardly as hell. I've done some stupid, screwed up things before, but I would _never_ do something so dishonorable."

Kyoya made a small noise that sounded like a hum of consideration. They could practically _hear_ the gears turning in his head. They squared their shoulders and held their head high, refusing to look away or cower. After a couple seconds, he nodded slightly.

"Naturally. We're all just looking out for Haruhi's safety and well-being. Of course, we would look for _any_ way to ensure those, Kelly-san."

Robin caught the warning edge to his voice. This time, they couldn't hold back the eye-roll. _Really, Ootori?_ They huffed out a little sigh and shook their head lightly as a smirk graced their lips. They loved a challenge.

"Why, Ootori-san, is that the hint of a threat I hear? I hope you realize, you have nothing to hold over my head. If you're thinking of blackmail, let me stop you right now. It won't work, I'm completely open about my past screw-ups."

"Blackmail? Kyoya wouldn't _blackmail_ someone! You wouldn't...right, Kyoya?"

Tamaki looked so extremely distressed at the idea, Robin nearly laughed.

"I wouldn't call it _blackmail_ , Tamaki. I prefer to think of it as...an exhange of information."

The slight glare and knowing smirk on Kyoya's face pushed them over the edge. They snorted derisively, then burst into full-fledged laughter.

"An exhange of information. Good one! But it still won't work, you know. You have no leverage, Ootori-san."

"Oh, I think there's plenty of leverage in your medical files, Kelly-san."

 **"ENOUGH."**

Everyone in the room -including the Shadow King- jumped at the shockingly loud command from Mori. All eyes turned to the table he and Honey occupied, surprised to see anger radiating from both young men. _Sweet baby Jesus, what a voice. Hot damn..._ Robin gave themself a mental slap and tuned back in to what Honey was now saying.

"-ical files is illegal, and you _know_ that, Kyo-chan. And it's just plain _wrong_! Besides, Robin-chan wouldn't do that to Haru-chan, they're friends! Friends help each other and take care of each other. Right, Robin-chan?"

His anger had disippated almost immediately, and now his big caramel eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Their heart melted, and it took every bit of willpower not to scoop the blonde into their arms and cuddle the tears away. They grinned at him, instead.

"Right you are, Honey-senpai. Look, Ootori-san, we both want the same thing here, really. So how about a truce, hrm?"

They stuck their hand out in his direction, then waved it around a bit when he merely looked at it with a raised eyebrow. After a moment, he issued a barely-audible sigh, shrugged, and shook the outstretched hand.

"A truce then, Kelly-san. And may I say, well-played. It's been quite some time since I've been bested in negotiations."

They caught the slightest hint of reluctant admiration in his tone, and let out a small laugh.

"I wouldn't say I bested you. Let's call it a draw, hey? And you _can_ call me Puck, you know."

Lips quirked in what could almost be called a smile, and he nodded again.

"A draw sounds just fine. And in that case, Puck, I insist you call me Kyoya."

"That's all great and everything, but can I leave now? I need to fix supper for Dad, and there's a sale at the supermarket."

Everyone turned at Haruhi's frustrated question. Tamaki leapt at her with a little squeal, flinging his arms around her and twirling her in manic circles.

"Did you all hear that? Daddy's little girl wants to fix him supper! Isn't she just so precious?!"

"Get off of me, senpai! You're not my father! Let go!"

Tamaki dropped her with a whine and fled to his corner, muttering about how his daughter didn't love her daddy. Robin burst into startled laughter at the scene, and Honey joined in a beat later, followed quickly by the twins. Haruhi just shook her head and swiftly headed for the exit before the crazy blonde could recover and accost her again.

Once Robin's laughter tapered off, they grinned at the group surrounding them. After a little bit of light conversation, they bid the boys farewell and took their leave. Striding through the school, their thoughts stayed on the Host Club, however.

 _Seems like a decent bunch of blokes. Definitely keep an eye on Kyoya, he's a shady one, for sure. I bet he's got a soft side in there somewhere, though. Is Tamaki that dramatic_ _ **all**_ _the time? That'd get annoying real fast. Maybe that's why Kyoya's so cranky. Man, Haru looked so cute in that dress. Adorable. Should ask her to hang sometime. Can't believe Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai stood up for me like that, wow. Gotta keep my cool around them, don't get twitchy, they probably get the hero-worship shit all the time. Remember, they're actual real people, not just kick-ass fighters. Seem like genuinely nice guys, at that. Oh man, wouldn't it be keen to actually be friends with them? Hrm. I should do something to thank them for sticking up for me. But what?_

They racked their brain the whole way home, and finally landed on something that sounded just right. A triumphant little grin lit up their whole face as they strolled through the front door, then turned to pure surprise when they spotted the tall man standing in the middle of the room. Silky black hair fell to broad, muscular shoulders. He had dark, piercing blue eyes and almost aristocratic features. Full sensual lips that seemed almost feminine turned up in a brilliant grin when he saw Robin.

"Welcome home, precious."

Robin took a running leap at the man with a glee-filled squeal. He laughed softly and caught them in his arms, and the two embraced tightly. After a long moment, Robin finally let go and kissed his cheek before stepping back. Their smile was radiant and joyful.

"I missed you, I'm so glad you're home early!"

"Aww. I missed you too, darling."

He gave their thick braid a playful little tug, and they retaliated by flicking him right between the eyes. He pouted in an over-dramatic way, and their giggle was almost child-like. He smiled and threw an arm around their waist, and they lay their head on his shoulder.

"Don't stay gone for two weeks next time, ok? It's lonely here without my big brother."

"Aww, I'm sorry, little bird. But tell me, how's your first week at Ouran going? Are you making friends? Are any of them hot?"

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Robin, causing them to cringe and make retching noises. He laughed, even when they punched him -lightly- in the shoulder.

"They're highschoolers, Seamus! You're too old to think any of them are hot, you perv!"

"Ow! Hey! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I think you broke it! I'll never be able to use this arm again!"

"Oh, don't be such a drama queen. I barely tapped you."

They rolled their eyes at him, and he stuck his tongue out in reply. Then the siblings just smiled happily at each other, glad to be reunited after Seamus' work trip. Robin was right, two weeks was too long. He would be sure to make the next one shorter.

"Ok, maybe I exaggerated just a little. But really, little bird. I do want to know how you're doing with school. You're not having any trouble, are you?"

"Everything's fine, Shay. I'm making some friends, I think. At least, I've met some decent folk. Couple of shady characters, but nothing alarming."

"I'm glad it's going well so far. Just promise me you'll tell me if anyone hassles you, yeah?"

"I promise, Shay. I'm gonna try really hard, I'm tired of fighting."

"Good. Now that that's all settled, what should we do about supper?"

* * *

 **AN2: Don't worry, Seamus isn't that kind of perv, he just likes teasing Robin. And Robin likes teasing back. Shay isn't "old" by any means, he's only three years older than Robin. If you have any kind of comments, questions, or criticisms, please don't hesitate to leave a review! (Or even PM me!) Until next time, poppets!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's note: Welcome to chapter 3, Dear Reader! I'm sorry that it's taken so long. The muses and plot bunnies were fighting again. But we've reached an accord. For now, at least. I want to thank everyone who has favorited/followed this story, it truly means so much! Please don't hesitate to comment or drop me a PM, I love getting feedback! Constructive criticism is welcome, especially if I do something seriously wrong with Puck, since I've never written a character like them. (And have zero experience with their situation, myself.) Flames will be given to Puck and the Hitachiins, so you've been warned!**

 **Triggers: Nah. Puck's a bit of a perv, but nothing serious.**

* * *

-The next Monday-

Robin spotted a familiar crop of short brown hair across the room. With a slight roll of their eyes, they sauntered over and tapped Haruhi on the head.

"Hey kitten, aren't you Hosting today?"

"Oh man, I'm gonna be late!"

They snickered quietly at the frustrated groan and helped their friend gather her things. Shouldering both bags, they dragged Haruhi down the halls, laughing at her obvious discomfort over being late. Haruhi muttered the whole time, lamenting the soon-to-be-raised debt.

"Tsk. I guess I need to keep you on a leash, Haru. You're always running late."

"I just got caught up in my studying, Puck-senpai. I know I won't get anything done with all the chaos in the club room."

Robin patted her lightly on the head in sympathy. They were only a few yards from the Third Music Room now, making Haruhi breathe a small sigh of relief.

"I really hope Kyoya-senpai doesn't raise my debt for this."

"Aw, I'm sure you'll be fine. You're a tough cookie. You can handle whatever those guys throw at you. Besides, if you get into trouble, you can always call me, you know."

"You're right. Thanks, senpai."

They grinned slightly at each other, and Robin reached for the door. It opened without a sound, but the duo stood stock still in the doorway, mouths gaping. The room had seemingly been transformed into a balmy jungle over the weekend.

"You're late, Haruhi."

Robin turned to scold Kyoya, but one look at the group derailed their train of thought.

"Oh sweet Mother of Christ..."

All of the Hosts except Tamaki were shirtless, everyone dressed in exotic cosplay that perfectly matched the jungle scenery. Robin's eyes flitted back and forth as they tried to remember how to breathe. They could barely register Tamaki babbling to Haruhi about kotatsu tables and chilly kittens and they weren't sure what else, but it took Haruhi's snarky reply to snap them out of their daze. Shaking their head and crossing themself with one hand, they strode over to Kyoya.

Before they could say anything to him, movement caught their eye. Turning slightly, they noticed a rather large snake curled around one of the skinny trees. Glancing around further, butterflies, lizards, and even a toucan could be found. Attention snagged, they dashed to the tree with the snake and carefully peeled the reptile from the trunk.

"Ohh, who's a pretty thing, then? So precious, yes you are."

"You like snakes, Robin-chan?"

They turned with a little grin and nodded at Honey and Mori. The snake had curled most of its body around their shoulders and down their arm. They stroked the reptile's head gently, cooing at it.

"Hi Honey-senpai, Mori-senpai. I like most animals, Honey-senpai. But it's true, I have a soft spot for snakes. They're so misunderstood. Aren't you, darling?"

Honey's smile grew radiant at their enthusiasm, and even Mori's lips twitched up at the corners. They made small talk for a minute or two before Robin suddenly remembered the real reason for their visit.

"Lucky thing I bumped into Haru in the library. Silly kitten had her nose so far in that book, I'm surprised there's no ink on her face. But I did stop by for a reason, I just got distracted."

 _By more than just the scenery. Don't stare. Do not stare. Do the thing, get gone. Don't stare!_ They reached into their bag and retrieved two small boxes. One was pink, with a yellow bow, and the other was a soft green with a white bow. They took a swift glance to make sure Kyoya wasn't lurking nearby before speaking.

"I wanted to thank you both for sticking up for me last week. I really appreciate it."

"Kyo-chan was wrong to do that, Robin-chan. Whatever's in your medical files isn't anyone's business."

"Yeah."

Robin shrugged, blushing slightly. But inside, they wanted to jump for joy. They grinned a little and held out the boxes, which were accepted after a moment with curious looks.

"It's nothing fancy, just a little thing. I know you have a sweet tooth, Honey-senpai, so I brought you raspberry-lemon cake from my favorite bakery."

Honey's squeal of delight interrupted them, but they laughed softly at the look of rapture on his face. With another little smile, they turned to address Mori.

"I'm given to understand you prefer more traditional, not so sweet things, Mori-senpai. So I brought you a matcha cake with almond buttercream."

Was that...an actual little smile on his face? They blinked, and Mori's stoic mask was back in place, though they thought his eyes shone just a bit brighter. Before Robin could think of anything else to say, they got their breath knocked out of them as Honey suddenly flung himself at them. His arms banded around their waist and squeezed. Their eyes widened in panic, but Honey was hugging them too tightly to escape. _Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! What is he gonna say? God, I don't want to deal with this so soon..._

"That's so sweet, Robin-chan! You're so thoughtful!"

"Yeah, thanks."

After another moment, they let out a shaky breath and patted the blonde awkwardly on the head. Honey gave them an extra squeeze before letting go and bouncing back to his place beside Mori. Robin breathed a tiny sigh of relief when he simply grinned radiantly at them. Mori raised an eyebrow slightly, concern darkening his eyes. They offered him a small smile and shrugged, one hand gingerly pressing against their ribs. _Honey-senpai hugs_ _ **hard!**_ _He's so strong, oh my God..._ _ **STOP!**_ _Do NOT board that thought train. Abort mission! Abort! Danger, Will Robinson!_

They mentally slapped themself before even the tiniest hint of a blush formed, shaking their head slightly. _What is wrong with me today?_

"Oh yeah. You might want to think about putting up some kind of warning sign."

"Warning sign? Like what, 'Beware of animals'?"

Robin snorted out a little laugh and shook their head. _How can he sound so bloody innocent?_ With a wry grin, they gestured at Honey and Mori, then vaguely waved in the direction of the others.

"More like, 'Beware of nosebleeds', senpai. With you lot running around all half-naked and yummy, it's bound to look like the elevator scene from 'The Shining' in here."

To their slight surprise, Honey and Mori both blushed faintly. Then their surprise grew when Honey snickered quietly before breaking into full-blown laughter. Shock quickly gave way to humor as they realized their senpai was familiar with that particular film. _Interesting... I'll have to ask about that when I've got more time. Ugh, but if I don't leave soon, I'll be late._ They made a little more small talk with the third-years, then bid them goodbye. They started toward the door, then rushed back with a laugh.

"Sorry darling, almost forgot."

They unwound the snake from their body and nudged it back onto one of the skinny trees. They gave the sweet reptile another little scratch, waved at Honey and Mori, and sauntered toward the door again.

-The next day-

The next day found Robin once again dragging a reluctant brunette through the halls. Their laughter was light as Haruhi grumbled and complained the whole way.

"It's just a waltz, kitten. It can't be that dreadful."

"Easy for you to say. Rich jerk."

Robin laughed out loud as Haruhi flushed crimson and started to apologize. They waved a dismissive hand, then patted the flustered girl on the head.

"No worries, really."

Haruhi breathed a small sigh of relief. She was _really_ glad Puck-senpai seemed to be the complete opposite of the other students. They grinned slightly at each other before Haruhi remembered that she had to practice dancing. Robin snickered at her dejected expression as they opened the door to the Third Music Room.

"Wow, Haruhi, you're actually on time today."

Robin thought that perhaps they were the only one to hear Haruhi's quiet growl of frustration. They patted her shoulder reassuringly.

"Oh come on, be nice. You know how important studying is to Haru."

"Haru-chan! Robin-chan!"

Haruhi and Robin both braced themselves for impact. When the chipper blonde launched himself at Robin, Haruhi's relief was palpable. Robin, on the other hand, let out a small grunt as their senpai landed with a _thump_ and a wild giggle, latching onto their back like a hyper spider monkey. Quickly regaining their balance, they hooked their arms under Honey's legs to steady him and keep them both from tipping over. They had just a second to be grateful that they put their long hair into twin braids that morning.

"Hey senpai. Would you mind flicking my braids to the front? Kinda pulling on them, there."

"Oh! Sorry, Robin-chan!"

"Aw, it's alright. No harm done."

They dashed around the room while Honey clung to their back, laughing joyfully. They completely ignored the twins chasing Haruhi, and Tamaki's pouting in a darkened corner. They spotted Kyoya, sitting alone and writing in a notebook. They were certain it was a Death Note or some similar nefarious item. Kyoya was just too spooky to use a regular notebook. Mori leaned silently against one wall, keeping a keen eye on the hyper duo.

After a few minutes, they had to stop. They screeched to a halt by one of the fussy, frilly little sofas. Honey dropped gracefully to the floor, and they sat immediately. More like, they flopped bonelessly onto the sofa, dropping their head into trembling hands. Honey stared for a moment, worry clouding his eyes, then poked them lightly in the shoulder.

"Robin-chan? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, senpai. It's just been a while since I've been ridden that hard."

They raised their head and gave him a little smile and a wink, to which he replied with a blush and a bright grin of his own before bursting into laughter. The two chatted easily for a little while, joined quietly by Mori after a minute or so. Robin found the scene rather comfortable, especially once their breathing evened out and their heart quit pounding like a jack-hammer.

"So, Haru says you're having some kind of dance. At least, I think that's what she said. You know, between the cursing and hateful muttering."

"I heard that, senpai."

"Aye, of course you did, kitten. _I_ wasn't muttering."

Robin grinned at the petite brunette when she stuck her tongue out. They geared up to trade a few more playful quips, but were interrupted by the door opening to admit a pretty brunette girl in the yellow uniform dress. They noticed Tamaki rushing over to greet the newcomer, but they popped up and beat him to it. They took the quiet girl's hand in their own and bowed slightly as the blonde slunk off to his corner to pout.

" _Tráthnóna maith, a mhuirnín."_

They pressed a gentle kiss to the back of the girl's knuckles, smiling brightly when a slight blush spread across her cheeks. They released her hand after just a second and straightened up, but stayed just a little closer than propriety allowed.

"You must be Princess Kasugazaki. Though Haruhi failed to tell me his dance tutor was such a stunningly lovely lady."

Kasugazaki's cheeks turned an even darker shade of red, and she stammered momentarily. Haruhi took pity on her and stepped up to properly introduce them, giving Kasugazaki time to recover. Which turned out to be bad for Robin, because that gave Tamaki the opportunity to rush over. He grabbed them up in a tight hug and spun them around, squealing.

"That was _perfect_ , Puck! What a splendid gentlemanly display! Absolutely marvelous!"

Robin let the psycho babble for another minute before admitting to themself that he wasn't going to voluntarily release them. With a little sigh of annoyance, they broke his hold and flung him away. He landed on a nearby sofa with a yelp, and dashed back to his corner, muttering again. Robin righted their shirt and smoothed it out, not noticing several jaws gaping open.

Within seconds, however, guilt started to gnaw at their brain. They groaned quietly, rolled their eyes, then strode over to where the blonde pouted, seemingly bathed in gloom. They cleared their throat, then knelt and placed a hand lightly on his shoulder, speaking gently.

"I do apologize. You were hugging me so tightly, I couldn't breathe. But that's no excuse for using such excessive force. I'm sorry, Tamaki. Are you injured?"

Tamaki's head whipped around instantly, and Robin nearly shrank back at the bright smile on his face. They stood and took a cautious step back, then offered him a hand. His smile seemed to get even brighter as he clasped their hand and popped to his feet. Before they could retreat he had them in another tight hug. Though, thankfully not quite the smothering embrace of a moment ago. They patted his back lightly, then extricated themself from his grip.

"No harm done, my friend! And what a lovely apology!"

Robin blinked, briefly dizzy from the blonde's mood swings. They glanced around, trying to find an escape, but his next words struck a sharp little blade of ice through their heart.

"I have decided! We simply _must_ have you as a Host!

* * *

 **AN2: Just a quick thing. Puck (like Sky in my other story) will occasionally speak Gaelic. I know it's not common, so I'll translate in the end notes. For example,** _ **"Tráthnóna maith, a mhuirnín."**_ **means "Good afternoon, darling." Puck is a shameless flirt, it's true! Until next time, Dear Reader!**

 **Oh, and comments keep the bunnies from rioting!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: First off, let me apologize PROFUSELY for the nearly two-month wait! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm SO SORRY! The plot bunnies wanted to play MANY chapters ahead, instead of working in chronological order. Then there was family stuff going on offline, I'll spare the details. But faithful author has returned! And the bunnies finally decided to work properly, though I had to bribe them with sugar and explosives. (No idea WHAT they've got planned with those. Kind of afraid to ask!)**

 **Second thing. Welcome to chapter four! I am BEYOND grateful for all of the positive feedback I've gotten on this story so far! With only three chapters, Puck's already surpassed my other OC, Sky ("The Scarred Princess and the Knights of the Menagerie") in favorites and followers, and she's at almost 40 chapters! (Not to mention, an entire YEAR of being written/posted.) Thank you all so very much for the support!**

 **Triggers: There's a tiny bit of violence, and some cursing. Things are... surprisingly mellow?**

 **I do not now, now will I ever, own the rights to Ouran or anything else Bisco Hatori's amazing brain came up with. No matter how much I'd like to!**

* * *

Robin threw their hands up in a crossed "X" motion and made an obnoxious noise that sounded like a buzzer going off.

"That's a negative, Cissy."

 _"What?"_

"No way, it's not gonna happen."

Tamaki's face fell comically, and they struggled to contain their laughter. They shook their head and crossed their arms over their chest. The blonde curled back up in his corner, and they threw a mischievous wink at Honey, whose sudden pout immediately vanished. They let Tamaki wallow in over-dramatic gloom for another minute or two, while everyone watched in surprising silence.

"On the other hand..."

Tamaki's head whirled around so fast, several people were momentarily worried it might fall off and roll across the floor. Robin cleared their throat quickly and smirked at him.

"I suppose I could give it a go. I mean, it might be fun to dethrone the Host King."

" _WHAT?_ You...you... You just can't _do_ that!"

"Ohh, I think you underestimate the mystical power that flows in the blood of the Celts. We're a force to be reckoned with, for sure."

Before Tamaki could formulate a comeback, Robin gave him a taste of his own medicine, so to speak. They twirled him around and dipped him low, drawing him close as they straightened. Being several inches shorter worked to their advantage. They looked up at him through long, thick lashes as they brushed the back of their knuckles over his cheek. Their voice lowered slightly and grew gentle.

"Besides, no one can resist sweet words whispered in such a romantic accent. Isn't that right, _mo chupín beag_?"

There was complete stillness in the room for a beat, then Tamaki turned bright red and began stammering incoherently. Robin thought some of the babble might have been French, but they weren't sure. He sank to the floor, and they wouldn't have been overly shocked if he had literally melted into a puddle. They burst into laughter at the sight. With a little smirk, they glanced down at the blushing blonde.

"Wanna tell me again that I _can't_ , Cissy?"

Laughter and applause rang throughout the room. They took a bow, grinning brightly at the small crowd. Kasugazaki was blushing almost as much as the blonde, her eyes flickering between the two. Tamaki leapt to his feet with a squeal and flung his arms around them again.

"Perfect! Absolutely marvelous! You have to join us, you just _have_ to!"

Robin gave him a sharp pinch and disentangled themself from his arms once again. His happiness not diminished in the slightest, he rushed across the room to Kyoya. They barely managed to stifle a snort of laughter at the affronted look the raven-haired boy gave his hyper friend as Tamaki smothered him in what was quickly becoming his signature embrace.

"Mommy, wasn't Puck just _wonderful_? Wouldn't he be a positively amazing addition to our little family?"

As Kyoya glared and struggled to escape the blonde, Robin's brain registered what Tamaki had just said. And promptly burst into another round of laughter.

" _Mommy?_ Oh oh, he really calls you _Mommy_ , Kyoya? How kinky! Do you wear high heels and lace for him, too?"

It was Kyoya's turn to blush and stammer incoherently. The twins fell over each other, gasping for breath amid wild cackling, even as Tamaki blanched sheet-white. With a little snicker, Robin waved a hand at the antics before them.

"Nevermind, I don't actually want to know. We can talk about my possibly joining you lot later, hey? After the dance. I'm gone."

They tossed a cheeky grin at Honey and Mori, then fled the room as quickly as possible. They did _not_ want to still be there when Kyoya returned to his senses.

-Several days later-

Numerous pairs of eyes watched the lithe form saunter across the courtyard, almost dancing. Rumors and theories on who it could be were traded in whispers. The figure stood out among the crowd, their long silver and green hair cascading down to a trim waist, burdened only by a pair of large black headphones. The pale face was mostly obscured by sunglasses with rainbow lenses. Instead of any attempt at the uniform, the figure wore a black dress shirt unbuttoned at the throat, with emerald green suspenders, a black kilt, green and black argyle knee-high socks, and black leather boots with chains criss-crossed over the laces. A silver pin in the shape of a coiled serpent was attached to the shirt, just above the pocket.

The silver-haired person was stopped at the entrance to the school by two large, intimidating-looking guys wearing the Ouran uniform haphazardly. To all appearances, their look screamed "Yakuza thug" but the shorter person wasn't worried in the slightest.

"Just where do you think you're going, freak? This is a private school, ya' know."

Black headphones were nudged away from their ears, and the rainbow shades were lowered ever so slightly. Bi-colored eyes glanced at the two guys with boredom, and just a bit of disdain. They answered in a falsely-polite tone, the Irish accent weaving music into the sarcastic words.

"Of course it's a private school. Would any of our parents have paid such an obscene amount of money for a _public_ education?"

The shades were slipped back into place, but a large hand reached out before Robin could move past. The hooligan grabbed their shoulder roughly and slammed their back against the wall, causing a small whimper of pain. The two thugs laughed, but were cut off almost immediately when Robin's fist slammed into the face before them. The one that hadn't grabbed them cursed in shock, then grunted in pain as they stomped - _hard_ \- on his foot.

"Listen here, _cúl tóna,_ and listen good. I go to this bloody pink school, for your information. Just because I'm not wearing that ghastly uniform, doesn't mean I don't belong. Oh, and one other thing. Grab me like that again, and I'll break every Goddamned bone in your hand."

They straightened their shirt, settled their headphones back over their ears, and continued on down the hall like nothing had happened. They ignored the comments and whispers. The gossip never bothered them. They had almost made it to their classroom when they were accosted again. A pure white rose was suddenly thrust in their face, eliciting a tiny yelp of shock.

"My dear princess, I couldn't help but notice the beautiful silver waterfall of your hair. You're not wearing the uniform, my darling, are you perhaps a new student?"

Robin snorted out a little laugh and took their sunglasses off, tucking them into their shirt pocket. They rolled their eyes at Tamaki, who still held the rose out in front of him as he bowed in a princely fashion.

"I'm neither a princess, nor your darling, Cissy. Stop acting a fool and stand up straight."

Their eyes met Kyoya's as the blonde squealed and jumped back, stumbling into his best friend. Kyoya thumped his head before he had the chance to run away to pout. He and Robin smirked slightly at each other over Tamaki's antics while he composed himself.

"Puck! You...you... You changed your hair! It's wonderful! But... Um... But... Why are you wearing a _skirt_?"

"It's not a skirt."

"It is, though!"

"It's a kilt, Cissy."

"But...but..."

"Go on with you, you'll be late for class."

They ignored the blonde's stammering and gave him a shove towards his own classroom. With another little eye roll, they walked into theirs, tucking their headphones away. Then immediately regretted that action. Their ears were assaulted with a variety of squeals and coos from the girls in their class. They were bombarded with comments and questions about their hair and attire, and the girls only let up when the teacher demanded silence. _Thank God. Any longer, and my fecking ears would bleed._

-After school-

Robin strolled around the enormous school, wasting time until they were sure Host Club was finished for the day. They peeked into the libraries, but instantly backed away. _Jesus, still too damned loud. Don't these people have homes to go to?_ They wandered aimlessly, enjoying the slight rhythm of their boots on the marble floors. They wondered vaguely what other sorts of clubs were going on behind some of these closed doors.

After they were certain that the "princesses" had left, they sauntered into the Third Music Room. A quick glance around proved them right; there wasn't a single yellow dress to be found. There _was_ , however, a hyper blonde rushing at them full-speed.

"Robin-chan!"

They caught Honey with a little laugh and twirled him around for a moment before setting him back on his feet. They grinned broadly at each other.

"Hi Honey-senpai."

"Oh my gosh, Robin-chan! Your hair looks _so cute!_ "

A slight blush crawled up their cheeks at the compliment, and they ran their hand through the silver and green locks with a small, nervous laugh.

"Thanks, senpai. I was getting tired of the black and red, thought it'd be fun to rock some Slytherin pride."

"I don't think you're a Slytherin, Robin-chan, you're too nice! You'd definitely be in Gryffindor!"

Their eyes darted around the room, the smallest bit of apprehension setting in as the others converged on their location. They didn't like the way the twins' eyes were glowing. They could almost _feel_ the mischief the gingers were planning. Trying to ignore the troublemakers, they smiled lightly at Honey.

"That's sweet, senpai. But I think most of them get a bad rap. Sure, a lot of Dark wizards come from Slytherin, but they're not _all_ evil. I mean, look at Draco. Poor thing never - OI! Get your paws off me, damned ginger devils!"

Hikaru and Kaoru had managed to close the distance while Robin was talking to Honey. The twins had each wrapped an arm around their waist, and leaned their heads on Robin's shoulders.

"But Puck-senpai, we just wanted to tell you..."

"...how _cute_ you look today."

Robin gave them each a smack to the head, then disentangled themself from the duo's grasp. They glared, then simply rolled their eyes as the twins held each other and laughed. _God save me from ginger twins._ They sighed softly and quickly crossed themself, then attempted to fix their shirt.

"But seriously, senpai..."

"Why are you wearing a skirt?"

They wanted to bang their head against the nearest wall. It seemed like a much more pleasant idea than having _this_ conversation _again._ They sighed again, forcefully.

"It's not a skirt."

"It's totally a skirt. Right, Kaoru?"

"Right, Hikaru. It looks good on you, but it's definitely a skirt."

With a quiet scream of frustration, Robin stomped over to the nearest wall and gave in, banging their head against it repeatedly. _Ow. Ow. Ow. No ow. Soft. What the feck?_ They opened their eyes, blinking at the large hand that had suddenly appeared between their head and the wall. Their eyes traveled up the blazer-clad arm. Up, up, up. Finally, their gaze landed on the face of Mori. His face remained calm, but concern flared in his slate eyes.

"Don't hurt yourself."

They blushed again, and nodded slightly.

"Thank you, Mori-senpai."

His lips twitched in the faintest hint of a smile, and he patted their head gently. They grinned back lightly, though inwardly, they were dancing around joyfully. _He smiled at me! He actually smiled at me!_ They cleared their throat quietly and turned back to the ginger devils.

"I'm all for wearing a skirt when the situation calls for it, but this is a _kilt_. Does no one in this bloody pink prison know the difference?"

"Does that mean..."

"...you like cross-dressing?"

Robin rolled their eyes at the twins. They seemed to be doing a lot of that today. They shook their head lightly.

"Who said anything about cross-dressing?"

Confused looks crossed several faces. Tamaki rushed over to add his opinion, followed quietly by Kyoya and Haruhi.

"You just said you wear skirts sometimes. Men don't wear skirts unless they're cross-dressing."

"Aye. And whoever said I was a man?"

Three jaws dropped comically, and a slight squeal of confusion was heard from Tamaki. Kyoya wore a bored expression, Haruhi looked vaguely interested, Mori's expression was stoic as ever, and Honey was grinning just a little. The twins recovered from their shock before Tamaki.

"You're a _girl?"_

"I never said that, either."

" _ **What?**_ So which is it?!"

Robin flinched at the high pitch of Tamaki's screeching. They actually took a step back, rubbing slightly at one ear.

" _Christ Jesus!_ Are you trying to deafen me, you daft sod?"

Tamaki wasn't sure what the words meant, but the tone was unmistakable. He rushed to his corner, pouting. Honey scooted closer, worry evident in his wide eyes. He clasped their free hand in his, squeezing gently.

"Are you ok, Robin-chan?"

They offered him a small smile and squeezed back. His responding grin was bright and radiant, and their heart gave a funny little _thump_ against their ribs.

"I'm fine, Honey-senpai. Sorry for the outburst. Always been a bit over-sensitive to high pitched noises. Shay's always saying I've got ears like a dog."

They turned their attention to the corner, where the twins had gone to torment the whining blonde. They cleared their throat quietly, making all three cease their antics and turn back. Smoothing their hands down their kilt, they were suddenly very aware that all eyes were on them.

"I suppose you're waiting on some sort of answer, hey?"

At the affirmative nods and gestures, they issued a quiet sigh. They were thankful that Honey and Mori were giving the troublesome trio looks that kept them from shouting and carrying on anymore. They cast the two a grateful little smile before taking a deep breath.

"Well, it's not like it's any great secret, lads. I suppose, if you've got to have a label, you could use 'non-binary' or 'gender-fluid.' I'm not too keen on the labels, myself."

They gave a little shrug, totally calm on the outside. But inwardly, they were quaking with apprehension. These were the first people they could call _friends_ in Japan, and they didn't want to lose that. Especially Haruhi and their senpais. They glanced around, hoping their nervousness didn't show. Confused looks met them at every side. With a wry, slightly self-deprecating little grin, they continued.

"It just means that I don't identify as male or female. I'm just...Puck. I mean, sure, I prefer neutral pronouns and stuff, but I'm not gonna get all torqued off if someone assumes a gender for me. I don't particularly care what the general public thinks."

This was a true statement; for the most part, anyway. Robin generally wasn't bothered if someone used male or female pronouns when referring to them. They were very close to only a select few people, and those opinions were all that really mattered to them. But on the other hand, they truly wanted this odd little group to accept them. They wanted a place to finally belong.

"So _that's_ why you weren't shocked that Haruhi's a girl?"

"And why you don't wear a uniform?"

"What do you mean, _'it's not a secret'?_ We all thought you were a _boy!_ You can't just be _neither_ , it doesn't work that way!"

They rolled their eyes at Tamaki's outburst, even as a relieved little sigh escaped their lips. They scrubbed one trembling hand down their face, willing their heartbeat back to a normal pattern. They addressed the twins' questions first, ignoring the blonde's confused, outraged spluttering.

"So Haruhi's a bit androgynous, so what? I didn't see a boy or a girl, just a cute brunette in a blue uniform. Speaking of, no. I don't wear either uniform because I'm not a fan of conformity. I've never exactly fit in a cookie-cutter world, and I'm not about to try now."

They vaguely addressed Tamaki's ranting, but not the blonde himself. They turned to Kyoya and bowed low, a slightly remorseful look on their face.

"After our little stand-off, I assumed you had given then others my medical files anyway. I figured it was common knowledge by now. I was wrong to think so poorly of you. I'm sorry for doubting you, Kyoya."

The Shadow King nudged his glasses up, concealing the shock he felt at the sincere apology. He waved his hand in dismissal and cleared his throat softly.

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm not _completely_ heartless. Though, of course, I will vehemently deny having said that."

The last of Robin's apprehension melted away in a burst of genuine laughter. They glanced around at the odd assortment of people in the room once their mirth tapered off. The twins seemed to have gotten bored already; they were sprawled on one of the plush sofas, apparently conspiring over something that was undoubtedly nefarious. Haruhi had taken full advantage of the lack of attention on herself, and was studiously bent over one of her text books. After offering Robin the tiniest hint of a genuine smile, Kyoya had gone back to his laptop. Tamaki retreated once again to his dark corner, muttering under his breath in French and pouting like a child.

Before they could spot their upperclassmen, Honey appeared beside them with a little giggle. He grabbed their hand, intent on tugging his friend over to share cakes. But the quiet yelp that fell from Robin's lips stopped him cold. His head whipped around, and his eyes filled at their pained expression. He looked down at the hand grasped in his own, letting out a shocked gasp.

"Robin-chan, what happened?"

They carefully extricated their hand from his, groaning softly. They were just surprised to have made it this long without someone noticing the livid bruises and slight abrasions. They flexed their fingers gently, wincing slightly at the soreness. They sighed and cast their eyes to the floor.

"A couple of punks thought it'd be fun to have a go at me this morning for being a freak. One of them slammed me up against a wall, so I punched him in his stupid face."

They shrugged, hoping to downplay just how intense the situation had truly been. It didn't work. Honey flung his arms around their waist with a little wail and squeezed tight. They blinked and stammered for a moment, then wrapped their arms around him and hugged back lightly. Before they could figure out how to get the shorter blonde to release them, Mori had appeared to rescue them.

He plucked Honey off his feet, easily dislodging Robin in the process. They inhaled deeply, then shot the quiet teen a grateful smile. He replied in kind, his lips curving upwards the tiniest bit before taking their injured hand in his own, causing their cheeks to color hotly. He inspected the bruised, abraded skin, eyes dark with concern.

"It's really not as bad as it looks. I swear, nothing's broken, it's just some bruising. And I doubt they'll be bothering me again. So it's nothing to worry about, aye?"

Mori was silent, but nodded after a moment. He released their hand and patted their head gently, ruffling their hair a bit. Honey whooped happily, all worries forgotten.

"Thank goodness! I'm so glad you're ok, Robin-chan! Now you can come eat cake with me and Usa-chan!"

He made sure to grab their uninjured hand this time, while they laughed joyfully at his enthusiasm. They were quickly seated between Honey and Mori, with the hyper blonde offering them massive quantities of cake. There were far too many choices, in their opinion. While they were pondering over which delectable flavor to choose, Kyoya settled into a seat across the table.

As the twins alternated between tormenting Haruhi and Tamaki in the background, Robin and Kyoya hammered out the details of Robin's involvement with the Host Club. Once everything was in order, they stayed and chatted happily with Honey and Mori, occasionally gaping in awe of the sheer number of cakes Honey could demolish in one sitting. _Well, at least I'll not be bored. Not with these lads._ They grinned slightly to themself. Perhaps they'd find a place to belong, after all.

* * *

 **AN2: And so Puck became a Host! What will their type be? Will Tamaki stop pouting anytime soon? Stay tuned!**

 **(Puck called Tamaki "my little puppy" in Gaelic. Also, the phrase used with the thugs apparently doesn't have a _literal_ translation, but it basically means "dickhead". )**

 **Let me know what you think of their new hair colors! Any suggestions, constructive criticism, questions, or comments are welcome. Don't hesitate to review! I love getting feedback from Dear Reader! Until next time, poppets!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Welcome to chapter five, Dear Reader! I'm happy to say that, so far, I've gotten nothing but positive feedback on this story. Thank you to everyone who's read, favorited, followed, and/or reviewed! I'm honored. ^.^ I hope you all enjoy the newest installment.**

 **As always, I do not own the rights to anything Ouran-related. (I know, it makes me sad, too.) Reviews and PMs are most welcome! Encouraged, even!**

 **And now, on with the show!**

* * *

-The next day-

"We have a surprise for you today, princesses!"

Tamaki's enthusiasm caught on immediately, the girls all hanging on his every word. He strutted about the room, extolling the virtues of each member of the Host Club, and how loved by the princesses they each were. As his babbling finally came back around to the subject at hand, the lights dimmed in the room. A cool fog rolled across the marble floor, drawing surprised and appreciative murmurs from the crowd. A single spot-light illuminated a dark, heavy door that many would have sworn hadn't been there a moment before, and Tamaki's voice rang out once again.

"The heart of a warrior, the soul of a poet. Deep and mysterious, loyal and passionate. He'll break all the rules and steal your very breath away. And your heart as well, if you don't guard it closely. Ouran's newest Host, our very own wild Irish Rogue!"

The door burst open and a dashing figure sauntered in. Clad entirely in black leather, their silver and green hair flowing freely behind them, Robin offered a little smirk to the waiting ladies. Bi-colored eyes, outlined in kohl, gleamed with feral mischief, giving the blue and brown orbs a dangerous air.

Shrieks and squeals could be heard from all corners as they stalked toward the seated masses. Several girls fainted before Robin could even open their mouth in greeting. Full, sensual lips curved into a predatory grin as they caught the trembling anticipation bringing heated color to many faces. They flicked their tongue out to wet their lips, delighted to hear several soft gasps at the action, and not all of them from female throats.

 _"Tráthnóna maith, mo álainn banphrionsa._ Good afternoon, my beautiful princesses. I would be honored if you would designate me. I would _love_ to get closer to you."

They offered a sly wink, giving their words a double meaning and causing several more fainting spells. They kept the roguish look on their face, though they were laughing uproariously on the inside.

-A couple hours later-

Robin stretched and rolled their neck, then sprawled on one of the fussy sofas. Pulling a bit of leather cord from their pocket, they swiftly gathered their hair into a low tail as they glanced around at the other Hosts.

"Well, that was...exhausting. But highly entertaining. How'd I do?"

Much to their delight, the twins rushed forward and flung themselves into low bows at Robin's feet. They burst into bright laughter as the duo looked up with matching awe-filled gazes and mischievous grins.

"We're not worthy!"

"Teach us your ways!"

They rolled their eyes at the twins' antics, but smiled inwardly. Their first day of Hosting had gone so much better than they'd thought it would. Evidently, the twins thought so, too. As did Tamaki, who was currently pouting in his corner. Several of his regular guests had flocked to Robin, leaving the so-called King to flounder in confused abandonment. They snickered quietly, remembering the complete and utter astonishment on his face as _his_ princesses fled to gather around the leather-clad Host.

"Ohh, I can't do that. Certainly a bit of Irish can't compete with your 'brotherly love' routine. A bit of leather and a romantic accent can't compare to the oh-so-very-tempting wickedness of your taboo relationship."

All three broke into cheerful grins, and the twins popped up to briefly throw their arms around Robin. As they rushed off to pester Haruhi -who suddenly regretted not leaving sooner- Honey and Mori came into view. Rather, a whole load of chocolate frosting came into view, as Honey thrust a plate of cake in their direction. Bell-like giggles sounded at their startled little squeal.

"I saved you a slice of cake, Robin-chan! You did great today!"

"Thanks, Honey-senpai, that's so sweet of you."

Mori sat beside them and handed them a fork; Honey had forgotten it in his haste to bounce over to his intriguing friend. Robin thanked Mori softly, thrilled to see the corner of his lips twitch in the barest hint of a smile as he nodded. They barely managed to conceal their shock when he spoke quietly, his words tinged with humor.

"The leather was a good choice."

-A few days later-

Covering their mouth with one hand, Robin yawned quietly, rolling their eyes at Tamaki's latest plan. "Operation: Conceal Haruhi's Gender" just seemed like far too much drama over nothing. They were certain that the Shadow King had an actual plan to keep the general populace from finding out Haruhi's secret. They tuned back in to the conversation as the girl in question mentioned fancy tuna.

"Wait. Seriously? You're gonna go along with this nonsense just for a bit of fish?"

They shook their head lightly, vaguely amazed at Haruhi's easy capitulation.

"Well, suit yourself, kitten. But count me out, I won't be anywhere near this bloody pink prison tomorrow."

"Why not, Robin-chan? Are you sick?"

A small smile played across their lips at Honey's immediate concern. They offered the blonde a reassuring grin.

"Aw, I'm fine, senpai. I'm just skipping out for the day. I plan on staying as far away as possible from doctors, nurses, and anything hospital-related for as long as possible, that's all."

"Puck, you do realize that these physical exams are mandatory, don't you?"

They rolled their eyes again and made a rude noise in Kyoya's direction. Stretching their legs out, they tucked their hands behind their head and closed their eyes, the perfect picture of nonchalance.

"Simmer down. I had a once-over when I moved here, and the Academy has that file. Which you know perfectly well. There's no need for me to go through all that bullshit again."

Kyoya hummed in consideration, then shrugged slightly. He had bigger things to worry about. Namely, the fact that Puck stood a good chance to make good on their playful threat to overthrow the Host King. Their shameless flirting and androgynous good looks certainly worked in the Club's favor. Client requests had skyrocketed in the last few days, all of them for the Rogue type. He dreaded the thought of what Tamaki might do when he found out.

Robin was humming quietly to themself, lost in thought. They didn't realize anything had changed in the room until there was a gentle tug at their sleeve. Blue eye cracking open, they finally noticed Honey sitting beside them. He was grinning brightly at them, but curiosity gleamed in his big caramel eyes.

"If you aren't coming to school tomorrow, what are you going to do all day, Robin-chan?"

With a genuine little smile for their favorite blonde, they sat up and gave him their undivided attention. They hitched one shoulder up in a shrug.

"No idea, senpai. Probably nothing overly exciting. Unless Windsong decides to foal early, anyway. I've got a weird feeling about that mare..."

Honey gasped and clasped his hands together happily, bouncing in his seat. They blinked at him for a moment, distracted by his sudden hyperness. Then their eye caught Mori sitting beside him, interest lighting up his slate eyes as his lips turned upward at the corner. They were shocked as always when he spoke, struggling to suppress a little tremor of excitement at his deep and utterly intoxicating voice.

"You have horses?"

They ran a hand through their hair and grinned at their senpai before nodding.

"Yeah, just a few. Seamus keeps trying to tell me I can't bring anymore strays home, though."

"Strays?"

"Heh. Um, yeah. Windsong kept escaping from her old owner, and he just wanted rid of her. I seem to attract that sort; got myself quite a zoo going already."

"Oh?"

"Yeah... I've got three horses, two snakes, six cats, three dogs, four ferrets, seven rabbits, a dozen bitty wee turtles, a foul-mouthed parrot, a couple dozen goldfish, nine chickens, a pond full of koi, and as of yesterday, one injured fawn."

Honey's eyes grew even bigger as they listed all their animal companions, but the caramel depths grew dark and glistened at the mention of the injured fawn. They chanced a quick glance at their other senpai, shocked to see anger and worry written plainly across his face.

"Badly injured?"

"Nowhere near as bad as I'd thought at first. There's a bit of forest bordering our property, and I guess someone before us thought barbed wire was the way to go. Poor wee thing got a leg tangled in it. She'll be right as rain soon enough, though. Shay called our vet while I was getting her loose, and Doctor Watanabe took excellent care of her. Just a few stitches, really. And we've got people coming in this week to clear out the rest of the fence-line."

Robin was very glad to see the worry diminish in his eyes as he nodded. They knew Mori liked animals just as much as they did, and they didn't want him to worry needlessly. They issued a quiet, relieved sigh before offering him a tiny smile, beyond thrilled to see his lips twitch slightly in reply. _Hrm, I wonder..._

"I'm glad she's ok, poor little thing! But gosh, that's a _**lot**_ of animals, Robin-chan! Do you really have seven bunnies? Can we come see them sometime? And the little turtles too? They sound _so cute_!"

"Mitsukuni."

They couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up at Honey's crestfallen expression as he turned to pout at Mori. They waved a hand dismissively, grinning broadly.

"Absolutely, Honey-senpai, anytime. Just don't blame me for Yuki's language; he didn't learn _any_ of that filth from me."

* * *

 **Ta-da! And so the Host Club gained their very own Rogue! What did you think of Puck's entrance? What will happen when Tamaki realizes his position as King is threatened?**

 **In case it wasn't obvious, "** **Tráthnóna maith, mo álainn banphrionsa." means "Good afternoon, my beautiful princesses." Puck is a shameless flirt, but we all knew that already. Until next time, poppets!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Welcome to chapter 6, Dear Reader! I'm still in shock that Puck and I have gotten so much wonderful feedback. And I'm beyond thrilled about it! You're all amazing, thank you for reading!**

 **As always, I own the rights to NOTHING Ouran-related. Comments and PMs are always welcome, and much appreciated! Please, let me know what you love, what you hate, suggestions, way I can improve... Anything!**

 **Enjoy the latest installment!**

* * *

-The next day-

True to their word, Robin spent most of the day doing a great deal of nothing exciting. They helped feed the animals, paying special attention to the extremely-pregnant Windsong. They couldn't shake the odd feeling they had about the mare, but couldn't figure out what caused it. She was in perfect health, wasn't acting skittish or strange, and gave no outward signs of anything amiss. They shrugged to themself. After giving her a thorough grooming, they wandered out of the barn, enjoying the sunshine.

They stopped their meandering to gather the fresh eggs from the small chicken coop, deciding to bring them to the kitchen themself. Once the eggs were washed and put away, they grabbed a few snacks and headed back out into the garden. Stretching out on a blanket on the grass, they nibbled on some fruit and re-read one of their favorite books, quickly losing themself in the epic fantasy world.

The calm was only broken hours later. Their phone went off, Haruhi's ringtone shattering the quiet and causing them to shriek in momentary alarm. Quickly recovering and laughing at themself, they answered with a grin.

"Hey kitten, how'd it go? ... Oh yeah? ... ... God, tell me someone got pictures! ... Cissy is such a dolt... ... Seriously? Jesus, no way. ... Ohh, yeah, that makes sense. ... He did _what?!_ That _pervert!_ Want me to break his hands? ... Aww, you're no fun. ... Aye, that's true enough, I suppose. ... Well of course I'll be there. I wouldn't skip out without a good reason. ... No way, it was a perfectly good reason! ... You're so mean, Haru, no fair. ... Yeah, alright, see you tomorrow."

-A few days later-

Robin looked at themself in the mirror and made a rude face. They still weren't sure about this cosplay. _At least it's not as hectic as Cissy's or the gingers'. Thank God it's not meant to be as revealing as theirs, either. How's a person supposed to do anything productive with Mori-senpai's chest on view like that?_ They shook their head roughly, dispelling that particular thought with force, and turned back to the mirror. Their kimono was a solid bottle green, with a silver obi. A faint, nearly-invisible pattern of shamrocks and sakura blossoms covered the very bottom portion of the kimono, which made them grin slightly to themself despite their vague discomfort.

They took a matching bottle green ribbon and tied their long silver locks into a low side-swept tail. Then they added a small, iridescent sakura hair clip to the opposite side. Taking one last deep breath, they left the change room to join the other Hosts. And promptly regretted it, as Tamaki's shrill squeal echoed through the room.

"Magnificent! Absolutely marvelous!"

"Button it, Cissy."

He rushed off to mope in his corner, much to the delight of the twins. The duo gave Robin thumbs-up and dashed over to torment the pouting blonde. Robin groaned quietly and rolled their eyes. It was going to be another long day in Host Club. _Why did I agree to this bullshit, again?_ They sighed softly and wandered over to apologize to the melodramatic Frenchman. Again.

Several hours later, the last of the girls had finally trickled out. Robin yawned and stretched, rolling their neck. Then they noticed the twins speaking with a new girl, and Tamaki hurrying over as well. Their jaw fell open in shock when the girl smacked him in the face and proceeded to fling insults at him. _Nice! You tell him, lass!_

As the hyper girl introduced herself, squealing and babbling happily about her "beloved fiancee, Kyoya", they rolled their eyes and shook their head lightly. This Renge person seemed beyond obsessed with some silly dating game, and had deluded herself into thinking Kyoya was the real-life version of the main character. _Like anyone would wanna date that Snape-wannabe._

After finally managing to get themself out of the kimono -it had really been too long since they'd worn one- they returned to the room just in time to see the twins teasing Haruhi. Apparently, Renge had tried to bake cookies. They watched quietly as Tamaki scolded the first-years, only to get bluntly rebuffed by Haruhi. As always.

A little tremor of apprehension raced up their spine suddenly, and they mentally slapped themself before turning their attention back to the little otaku. _Lukewarm? Dark side? Are we video game characters now?_ They tried very hard to be invisible as Renge demanded everyone change their images, save Kyoya, who was "perfect" of course. But alas, the idiot King tripped over them as he stumbled past, mumbling about being a "lonely prince" or some such nonsense. Renge's eyes lit up at her new target, and Robin swallowed thickly.

"And you! Just who are _you_ , and why didn't you make yourself known before?!"

 _Bollocks. Ah, well. Might as well go for it._ They hitched one shoulder in a shrug, then sauntered over, offering the girl a feral little grin. They lightly grasped her chin and tilted her face up, catching her eager gaze as they spoke playfully.

"Forgive me, _a mhuirnín,_ I was far too entranced to say anything earlier. Watching the way you handled Tamaki was... _thrilling._ "

They winked slyly, grinning at the blush and slight tremor from the honey-blonde at their words. They ran the back of their knuckles lightly down her pink-tinged cheek as they continued.

"My name is Robin Kelly, but you, _mo bonphrionsa,_ can call me Puck."

"Ohh... You're nearly perfect! So exotic! So romantic!"

She squealed and clasped her hands to her heart, smiling broadly. Robin felt another little shiver of something that could almost have been fear. They took a single step backward, keeping a keen eye on her.

"But you need some trauma, as well. Some dark back story."

They snorted out a laugh and shook their head.

"Doll-face, my past is tragic enough without you embellishing it."

"What? What do you mean by that?"

They shook their head again; they weren't about to tell this crazy otaku about all that. Especially when they hadn't told their friends yet.

"Nothing to worry over, just thinking out loud."

Over the next couple of days, Renge drafted a script, brought in a Hollywood movie crew, had sets built, and God-only-knows what else. Robin could only watch in awe and no little shock. Tamaki and the twins had just finished up their rain-drenched scene, and they watched from their position for their own cue, pointedly ignoring the way they shivered in the tepid rain.

Haruhi ran past Tamaki and blindly struck a tree, sliding down the trunk to cower and hopefully catch their breath. But no such luck could be had. At the sound of footsteps, Haruhi whirled around, eyes widening as the third-years approached.

"You can't run away forever. I'm gonna show you what happens to anyone who crosses me."

"Don't do it, Mitsukuni. You should have realized by now that whenever you hurt others, you're really just hurting yourself."

"I didn't ask you for any advice. Want me to put you over my knee again?"

Honey turned back to the first-year scholarship student.

"It really pisses me off when people don't know their place."

Robin leapt from the tree they had been perched in, a snort of derision splitting the air. They straightened and stood between Honey and Haruhi, sneering down at the third-year.

"Leave Fujioka be, Haninozuka-senpai. He's done nothing to you."

"No one asked your opinion, you freak. Get lost, or you'll get the same as him."

They two glared silently at each other, tension mounting as neither backed down. Which lasted for all of seven seconds before Honey's eyes grew large and watery. He broke down an instant later, flinging himself at Robin and Haruhi with a little wail. He hugged them both tightly, apologizing profusely.

"Cut! Stay on-script!"

"I can't! I can't be mean and say such hateful things to Haru-chan and Robin-chan!"

"Awww. Don't be upset, Honey-senpai. It's just part of the script, Haru and I know you're too nice to really act that way."

They glanced around to make sure no one was too close, then grinned at Honey. Lowering their voice, they leaned in just a bit.

"Although, you could totally put me over your knee any time you want."

The little wink and teasing tone of voice dried up Honey's tears instantly. He burst into surprised laughter and blushed hotly. A quiet chuckle behind them caused them to yelp and whirl around, only to stare in shock Mori's sly little grin. Their cheeks colored in embarrassment, and they grew flustered, stammering and attempting to apologize. But Mori just nodded lightly and patted them on the head. A relieved sigh fell from their lips, and they let out a breath they hadn't realized they'd been holding, barely registering the twinge of pain under their ribs.

The trio made their way over to where Haruhi and the twins were gathered. The first-years had evidently been talking -rather, complaining- about the script, and they caught the tail-end of the conversation.

"-trays Kaoru as the pitcher?"

"Yeah."

"Pitcher?"

Robin snickered at Haruhi's confused innocence, then paused to study the twins for a moment. They nodded after a second or two, grinning mischievously at the gingers.

"That's easy. It's because he totally is."

The completely gobsmacked look on Hikaru's face caused them to burst into bright laughter, ending with them gasping for breath after a minute. The hot-headed twin scowled and grumbled the whole time, but Kaoru seemed almost...pleased. They continued to giggle as Renge called Haruhi over to film a new scene, but their mirth was cut off as a shiver of apprehension danced up their spine.

They followed Haruhi as nonchalantly as possible, wondering why they felt such unease. Renge and Haruhi were standing with two tall and intimidating-looking guys that seemed vaguely familiar. Robin couldn't hear the conversation as they approached, but the bad feeling ramped up immensely. They burst into a run as one of the guys shoved Renge, knocking her into Haruhi. Both girls fell into a pile of set pieces and lighting rigs, causing Haruhi to cry out quietly in pain. With a low growl, Robin pounced on the assailant. They knocked him to the ground and pinned him, clenching his collar in tight fists as they snarled at him.

"Just who the hell do you think you are, _cúl tóna?_ You think it's ok to just shove people like that?"

"Puck-senpai, it's not what you think."

They whipped their head around to Haruhi, shocked by the brunette's words. Before they could answer, however, they were shocked even further. The delinquent beneath them gasped.

"Puck? Puck _Kelly_? Oh shit, oh _shit..."_

They let him up, confusion clearly evident on their face as their eyes darted between the thugs and the girls. Haruhi seemed just as confused, though she didn't seem to be injured. Robin breathed a tiny sigh of relief at that, then turned back to the suddenly afraid guys.

"Man, we had no idea that girl was friends with you, Kelly-san! We didn't know, honest!"

A light bulb went on in Robin's brain, and they groaned quietly, covering their face with one hand for a brief moment.

"Let me guess, my cousin's gone around giving out warnings?"

"Yeah. Yeah. We wouldn't have done anything if we'd known you were in on this, man, honest. Don't hurt us!"

They rolled their eyes and scrubbed their hand down their face. _Damnit, Red, I'm_ _ **so**_ _kicking your arse the next time I see you. This is bullshit._ They sighed quietly and assured the duo that they were safe. For now. The two took off running immediately, and Robin turned back to Haruhi, only to jerk back in surprise when they noticed the entire Host Club had arrived. They gulped audibly, racking their brain frantically for some innocent-sounding explanation. But they needn't have bothered. A resounding _crash_ sounded behind them, and they whirled around to see Kyoya holding a rock. He had broken the camera's lens and effectively taken all the attention off of them.

"I'm sorry, but we can't have record of any Club member engaging in violence."

 _Well thank Christ for that._ They watched quietly as Kyoya scolded Renge for being a pest, then Haruhi and Tamaki trying to convince the silly otaku that Kyoya was _**not**_ the Miyabi character she had deluded herself into thinking. They shook their head lightly and wandered off, sneezing and then growling. _Great, now I gotta deal with getting sick on top of all the other shit. Wonderful..._

-Several Days Later-

Robin rubbed their eye and sniffed quietly. They were feeling increasingly lousy, but they had dragged themself to school anyway. Seamus had _not_ been pleased, but they were adamant about not missing class for a simple cold. They just wouldn't tell their darling brother that they were fairly certain it wasn't just a simple cold anymore. They groaned softly and pressed their head against the desk, sighing in relief at the feel of the cool wood against their heated skin.

Despite everything, they really did try to pay attention to their lessons. They picked their head up and kept it up as long as possible, struggling to keep their focus on Sensei. They were just _so tired_ , but there was no way they would allow themself to fall asleep in class, surrounded by people they barely knew. Besides, every time they sniffled or coughed or sneezed -or even breathed, it felt like- there was a sharp twinge of pain.

They finally gave up at lunchtime. Ignoring the students headed to the refectory, they found themself shuffling down the corridor to Music Room #3. They figured it would be empty this time of day, and they could get a little rest there before trying to struggle through the afternoon classes.

It took two tries to open the suddenly-heavy doors, and Robin was briefly grateful that they weren't assaulted with rose petals. They often wondered why that seemed to be so popular. But at the moment, they were just trying to concentrate long enough to make their way to one of the surprisingly comfortable sofas. The sofas that somehow seemed to keep moving farther away... And when did the air get so very thick? _Uh oh... Danger, Will Robinson..._

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 **AN2: Oh no! What is happening to Puck?! Will they be alright? *evil laughter* Why were those guys so freaked out when they discovered Puck's identity, what warnings did their cousin give, and just WHO is this cousin anyway? Why is Puck so adamant about staying away from hospital-y stuff? Stay tuned for all these answers and more, poppets!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: Welcome to chapter 7, Dear Reader! I'm so sorry it's taken a whole month to get this chapter out. Puck's plot bunnies were NOT cooperative! But they're behaving properly now, so here you go!**

 **I did something new in this chapter. As you'll see, there's a POV shift for just a little while. (That's why the names have changed, don't worry. I'm not randomly mixing Honey/Mitsukuni and Mori/Takashi. It's like that for a reason!)**

 **Triggers: Very little, if anything. Emotions are running high at one point, and there are VERY vague mentions of some dreadful past event. And Puck's potty mouth, as always.**

 **Reviews and PMs are always appreciated and most welcome! Feel free to comment on or ask about anything at all. I love feedback! And now, enjoy the new chapter!**

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-End of school-

As soon as the last class of the day ended, Mitsukuni was up and out of his seat like a bullet. As much as he enjoyed some of the lessons, Host Club was always his favorite part of the school day. He got to do most of his favorite things there, without fear of reprisal. During Club hours, he could act as cute as he wanted, eat his weight in cake and sweets, and spend time having fun with all of his favorite people.

With a perfectly adorable (and utterly calculated) giggle, he launched himself at his steadfast companion, grinning when Takashi hauled him up and settled the blonde on his broad shoulders with practiced ease. He called out farewells to several classmates, making sure to have Usa-chan wave bye-bye as well. The squeals and giggles followed them out the door and down the hall.

Takashi, on the other hand, seemed even quieter than usual. He had an odd feeling that he couldn't shake. Something was amiss, though he didn't know what. Usually, he only felt this way if something was wrong with his Mitsukuni. But the little blonde was perfectly healthy and happy, without a care in the world beyond what type of cake to eat first. So _what_ could be bothering him?

As if he could read Takashi's thoughts (and it wouldn't have surprised the quiet young man in the slightest if he could), Mitsukuni rested his cheek on Takashi's head and nuzzled lightly. Since the corridor they were currently in was devoid of people, he reigned in the lolita act and spoke quietly.

"Ok, what's going on, Takashi? I know something's bothering you, what is it?"

"Something's wrong, but... I don't know..."

He let out a frustrated groan and scrubbed one hand over his face. The sooner this mystery was solved, the better. He absolutely hated feeling this out-of-sorts, especially for no apparent reason. He sincerely hoped the cause would reveal itself soon; this was beyond annoying. He got his wish a minute or so later as he opened the doors to the Third Music Room.

Halfway across the room, Robin lay sprawled face-down on the floor. Their long silver and green locks splayed out around them, and their school bag lay where it dropped, books and various items spilling out haphazardly. The Irish transplant didn't appear to be moving. At all.

With a horrified gasp, Mitsukuni leapt from Takashi's shoulders, and they both rushed to their friend's side. The blonde laid his head on Robin's back while Takashi grasped one wrist to check for a pulse. Mitsukuni gave an extremely-relieved sigh at the sound and feel of Robin's breathing, however labored it might be.

"Thank goodness. Robin's breathing, but it's all shallow and crackling."

Takashi carefully brushed their hair away from their face, concern ratcheting higher as he noticed the bright, hectic color staining the one visible cheek. Something was definitely, seriously wrong with them. He and Mitsukuni exchanged a quick look, and the blonde instantly reached for his phone with a little nod.

Before he could even start to dial, the doors opened again, and laughter spilled into the room. Laughter that was cut off abruptly as the rest of the Hosts took in the sight before them. Tamaki shrieked and rushed over, only to be stopped by a rather fierce look from Mitsukuni. The dark aura surrounding the usually-adorable third-year froze him in his tracks.

Kyoya, meanwhile, had taken stock of the situation. He noticed the shallow breathing and fevered appearance from a distance, and immediately pulled out his own phone. Seconds later, as Tamaki was trying to relearn how to move his limbs, the so-called Shadow King tucked his phone away again and turned to Takashi. The quiet upperclassman had very gently turned Robin over and picked them up, cradling their slight frame in his arms.

"My driver is at the entrance, Mori-senpai. I thought it would be better than waiting for an ambulance."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Mitsukuni scooped up Robin's belongings, tucking everything into their bag and slinging it over his own shoulder. The two third-years quickly convinced the others to stay and tend to the guests. He and Takashi would accompany Robin to the hospital, call their brother, and let the others know as soon as they had any news.

They hurried downstairs and outside to the waiting limo, grateful for Kyoya's quick thinking. Which a quick thanks to the driver, they settled into the back, Takashi keeping Robin tucked securely in his arms. Mitsukuni rifled through their bag, swiftly finding their cell so he could call Seamus. He kept his lolita side reigned in, relaying the scant information they had so far to Robin's brother in a seldom-heard voice, sounding far more mature than usual.

Takashi listened to the conversation, short though it was, and nodded when Mitsukuni hung up a minute or so later. Robin still hadn't woken, but they shifted and murmured quietly. A soft sigh passed Takashi's lips, and he was filled with sudden relief. He was still worried about his friend, but he was certain that they would be fine. He brushed their hair back and away from their face, carefully avoiding the darkening bruise around their eye. They shifted again, shocking the quiet youth by nuzzling against his shoulder.

Mitsukuni watched with a shrewd little grin as a pink tinge crawled up his Takashi's cheeks. He figured Robin must be in that state in-between awake and asleep, and that they assumed the person holding them was Seamus. He didn't think that they would be quite so cuddly otherwise. Especially since they still got flustered whenever he hugged them. His grin grew broader when Takashi cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. It was glaringly obvious that he was confused and debating whether he should set Robin on the seat or continue to hold them.

"Aww, Takashi, you're so cute when you're all flustered like that."

"Mitsukuni, this isn't funny."

Mitsukuni couldn't help the quiet giggles that bubbled up at the utterly helpless look being cast his way. He leaned over and patted Takashi's knee, then brushed his fingertips lightly over Robin's cheek. A worried little frown replaced the bright grin of a moment ago. What was wrong with their friend? He sighed softly.

-Later-

Robin blinked and squinted against the harsh lights. They groaned quietly and lifted an arm to shield their eyes, only to grunt in surprise at the slight tug against their skin. They looked down at their arm and cursed loudly at the sight of the IV sticking out.

"Well, it's about fecking time you woke your lazy arse up."

They whipped their head up at the sound. Seamus sat in a chair beside the bed, trembling and looking angrier than they'd seen him in a long time. They swallowed thickly and tried to remember to breathe.

"Shay... I..."

" _Don't_. Do you have _any_ idea how terrified I was when your little schoolmate told me you were unconscious? Do you know what it did to me, seeing you in another Goddamned hospital bed?"

Robin racked their brain frantically for an answer, then gasped in shock as Seamus burst into tears. They could do nothing but stare blankly as he sobbed quietly. His strangled voice struck more pain into their heart as he continued, laying his head on their shoulder.

"I nearly lost you once, Robin. I can't go through that again. I _can't._ "

They ignored the needles and various tubes and wires, wrapping their arms firmly around their beloved brother and hugging him fiercely. Tears fell freely from their eyes, stinging and coursing down pale cheeks.

"You _won't_ go through it again, Shay. I'm not going anywhere. I promised, remember?"

The siblings clung tightly to each other for a few minutes, both of them struggling to compose themselves. Once they had, Seamus returned to his seat, but kept one of Robin's hands tucked firmly in his own. They gave his hand a gentle squeeze, relieved to see the fear and anger leave his face.

"So... Um... How'd I get here, then?"

Seamus told them how their upperclassmen had found them passed out and brought them to the hospital. He said nothing of their other Club mates, which lead them to believe that the others were unaware of the situation. They breathed a tiny sigh of relief. They _really_ didn't want to deal with Tamaki's shrieking and squealing. Their head hurt plenty as it was.

A few minutes later, a soft knock could be heard. At his sibling's little nod, Seamus called for the knocker to enter. The door swung open slowly, framing the still-worried third-years. Robin's jaw dropped just slightly, surprised that the upperclassmen had stuck around. Before they could form a coherent thought, there was a little wail, and a blur of motion.

Honey launched himself across the room and flung himself upon the bed, hugging Robin tightly. Robin grunted slightly in pain and shock, then hugged back gently, patting the now-crying blonde on the back. They locked eyes with Mori as he crossed the room at a much more reasonable pace, surprised and more than a little pleased to see a small smile. He laid his hand on their head for the smallest moment, and they could have sworn they felt the slightest tremor from him.

"Robin-chan, we were _**so worried!**_ You scared us so bad!"

They frowned and hugged Honey just a tiny bit tighter for a moment. He sounded almost as scared and upset as Seamus had. They closed their eyes against a new round of tears, refusing to let them come. Mori finally managed to release them from Honey's iron grip, and they took a couple of deep breaths as the pair settled into another chair near the bed. They opened their eyes on focused on the blonde first.

"I'm sorry, Honey-senpai. I'm _really_ sorry. I didn't mean to make anyone worry, honest. I just... I didn't think I was _that_ sick... I'm sorry..."

"Stubborn, hard-headed arsehole."

They laughed at the forced exasperation in Seamus' voice and slapped his hand lightly. The siblings grinned fondly at each other, and Robin let out a little sigh of relief, wiping away the last of the tears with a trembling hand. They offered their senpais a little smile, absurdly grateful when both upperclassmen replied in kind. Mori patted their free hand gently as Honey spoke again.

"What happened, Robin-chan? Did the doctors figure it out yet?"

"Um... I don't know. Shay?"

Seamus gave their hand a little squeeze and nodded reassuringly. He spoke lightly, none of the fear or anger from earlier evident any longer.

"Pneumonia. Evidently, that _wee little cold_ you caught wasn't quite so little, after all."

"Aye, apparently not. Figures. I _knew_ that crazy little otaku was bad news."

Honey and Mori exchanged a little look. They were both glad that Robin seemed to be doing better. After a moment, their last statement struck a little chord. Honey turned a confused look on them.

"You mean Renge-chan? What's she got to do with this?"

"Ah. Um... Well... It's not exactly her fault, but she started the whole thing. That bloody movie of hers, hey? She just _had_ to have all that rain..."

"It's your own fault, little bird. You know better."

Robin rolled their eyes, then conceded the point. Seamus was right, they knew better than to stay out in tepid rain like that. They shrugged lightly, then changed the subject.

"Aye. So, when can I get out of here?"

-A Few Days Later-

The ladies of Ouran certainly loved to talk. And gossip. About every-and-anything. Robin rolled their eyes as yet another rumor floated around the room. Everyone was speculating on the massive shiner they were currently sporting. Since no one had yet bothered to ask them directly, they didn't bother correcting anyone. But some of the rumors were getting kind of wild; perhaps it was time to set the record straight after all.

They stood and cleared their throat quietly, then called for everyone's attention. It was given immediately, of course. Even the other Hosts' guests turned toward the Rogue, wondering what would be said.

"I know a lot of you ladies are curious, so I'm going to set your minds at ease. No, _mo banphrionsa,_ I've not been in any sort of fight. Sad to say, the bruise marring my face is from my own carelessness. I neglected my health, and ended up on the floor. So rest easy, darlings, I've not made any enemies here just yet."

There were relieved sighs and quiet, thankful exclamations from all corners. They flashed their best, most roguish smile at the crowd, laughing to themself at the squeals of adoration. These lasses were really too easy to deal with sometimes. One brave soul edged closer, leaning forward in her seat. Robin swore they almost saw hearts in the girl's eyes.

"Thank goodness! We were so worried, Puck!"

With a feral little grin, they flung themself down beside the girl, causing her cheeks to darken immediately. They trailed the back of their knuckles along her jaw, then gripped her chin lightly and tilted her face toward themself. They leaned in ever so slightly, drawing quiet gasps from several onlookers. Their eyes widened and glistened brightly.

"I'm so sorry to have caused you worry. Forgive me, _a mhuirnín?"_

Quiet thuds sounded as she -and several others- fainted straightaway. They chuckled softly and winked at one of the others. They were still laughing as Kyoya called an end to the day's activities and gently ushered the ladies out of the room. Once the last yellow dress was out of sight, and the door closed securely behind the crowd, they groaned softly and held a hand to their head.

"Puck-senpai, are you alright?"

Haruhi sounded concerned, so Robin offered her a genuine little smile. They waved their free hand in a dismissive way.

"I'm alright, kitten. Just a wee little headache. Some of those bloody squeals were _so_ high-pitched."

"They do get over-excited, don't they? I don't understand them."

"Me either, kitten. But they're so much fun to play with, aye?"

They grinned broadly at the brunette, who just rolled her eyes in reply. Before the duo could land on a new topic, Honey launched himself at them. Haruhi squeaked and dodged, but Robin laughed and accepted the bone-crushing hug.

"Don't you ever run out of energy, senpai?"

Honey just giggled and shook his head rapidly, smiling radiantly. Mori plucked him off of their lap before he had a chance to squeeze them again, causing the blonde to pout. Wide caramel eyes glistened with unshed tears, and his lower lip stuck out, trembling. Before Robin's resolve melted completely, Mori sat Honey beside them with a stern look.

"Be careful, Mitsukuni. Robin is still recovering."

Their heart gave a funny little _thump_ at hearing their given name from their quiet senpai. They'd gotten used to hearing "Robin-chan" from Honey, but Mori hadn't used any version of their name before. It was so very odd to hear anyone but Seamus use their given name; even their other relatives called them Puck. But there was something about the way their senpais said it...

They shook their head to clear those thoughts, then offered Mori a little smile.

"It's alright, Mori-senpai. I'm not made of glass, I'll be fine. Besides, I like Honey-senpai's hugs."

"Yay! See, Takashi, Robin-chan says it's ok!"

With that settled, he flung himself back on their lap and hugged them again, nuzzling against their shoulder. They grinned at Mori, who just shook his head at the duo's antics, then patted them both on the head with a fond little smile.

"You know... When you pet me like that, it totally makes me feel like a little puppy. If I bring you my collar and a leash, will you take me for walkies?"

Mori blushed deeply at their words, causing them to burst into delighted laughter. Then a little shiver of apprehension ran up their spine, just a moment before the twins appeared in front of the trio. They were wearing identical devious grins. _Bollocks..._

"What do you ginger devils want?"

"We're just wondering..."

"...why you have a collar..."

"Are you hiding something scandalous, Puck-senpai?"

"I'm not hiding anything. Wearing a collar isn't scandalous, lads. Goths and kinky folk have been doing it for ages."

"So which one are you?"

Robin snickered quietly and shook their head. _Silly gingers._ The twins had crowded in, pushing Honey off of their lap, each curling an arm around Robin's shoulders. They were grinning mischievously, obviously hoping for some naughty comment from their Irish senpai. Who adopted an innocent smile, then gestured for the duo to move even closer, like they were about to whisper some very important secret. Then erupted in even more laughter.

"Guys. Wearing a collar is a fashion choice, simmer down."

The twins made disappointed noises and left to torment Haruhi. Robin rolled their eyes and stood, stretching until a series of little _pops_ issued from their aching back. Once the twins were well out of hearing range, they turned back to Honey and Mori, who were both watching with interest lighting their eyes. They noticed the knowing little smirk from Honey, and flashed a tiny grin of their own.

"That's not to say that's the _only_ reason I like it."

They sauntered out of the room to the melody of Honey's delighted giggles and Mori's quietly surprised laughter.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Welcome to chapter 8, Dear Reader! I know, it's been a while. Real life tragedy halted any process for a bit. But the plot bunnies and I are back to work now! And to make up for the absence, have a relatively long chapter! (Seriously. It's about 4,800 words before adding the AN!)**

 **Triggers: Vague mention of semi-nudity, violence, brief mention of possible abuse, and language. (As always, Puck has a potty mouth.)**

 **If you're enjoying Puck's journey, please don't hesitate to drop me a comment or PM. The bunnies, muses, and I all ADORE feedback.**

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Robin had only been Hosting for a few weeks, but had settled into a fairly comfortable routine. Well, except for Tamaki's incredibly random outbursts of frivolity and well-intentioned but ignorant attempts to bond with Haruhi. They weren't the only one to get a laugh out of the little brunette constantly sending him to his corner with a few blunt words.

Hosting hours were fairly docile for a moment, so they took a minute to glance around the room. Kyoya was working diligently on his laptop, as always. _Doesn't he ever take designations?_ Mori-senpai wiped a bit of frosting from Honey-senpai's cheek, while their group of princesses cooed and squealed delightedly. They shook their head slightly, then turned to watch Haruhi, who was carrying a tray past the twins' section. _God, that silly game again. What's the point?_ Evidently Haruhi had the same thought. Robin was close enough to hear the exchange. And to be dragged into it, apparently.

"Who hasn't fantasized about twins?"

"I'm sure Puck-senpai agrees with us. Right, senpai?"

They barely managed to suppress the eye-roll as they stood and stretched, then strolled over. They flashed their best Roguish smile at the group before speaking.

"Sure, to a point. The thought of two lovers is so very tempting, indeed. Aye, but I prefer a bit of...variety, myself."

They offered a sly wink to the ladies gathered around, causing several to blush hotly and swoon at the innuendo. A couple of them fainted outright. Before they could add anything to hopefully cause a few more fainting spells, Tamaki rushed over and started yelling at the twins, brandishing a laptop like a weapon. Robin's jaw dropped at the picture on the screen.

Covering the home page of the Host Club's website was a picture of Haruhi and Robin. Both were topless and showing their bare backs to the camera. Haruhi's smile was small and innocent, while they were offering their usual cheeky grin. Robin knew it was a fake; there was _no way_ they would pose for that type of photo! But...it looked so real. As Tamaki and the twins argued about the proper use of Photoshop, and Haruhi did a fabulous impression of a soulless statue, they crept forward. Inching closer, unheeding of the girls gathered around, they brushed trembling fingertips down the flawless back of the Robin in the picture.

They snapped out of their reverie a moment later, as several of the girls agreed quite loudly with Tamaki. Apparently, everyone was very keen on seeing the two newest Hosts in girls' clothes. Forcing old memories to the back of their mind, they turned back to the group crowded around them. Plastering their Rogue smile on, they spoke lightly, just a hint of playfulness coloring their words.

"Well, I can only speak for myself, of course, but I think that could be arranged, my darlings."

Squeals and shrieks of glee split the air, momentarily deafening several people in the vicinity. They grinned wryly and rubbed at their ear. _Only myself to blame there. Ow._

After the guests had left for the day, Robin found themself once again sitting beside Honey and Mori. Honey had taken to setting aside a few slices of cake most days, specifically to share with the charming Irish. They had been utterly shocked, and more than a little flattered, the first few times the blonde had insisted they share. They were no longer shocked by his generosity, but they remained just as flattered. More so, to be honest, as they'd noticed he rarely shared his sweets so freely with anyone else.

As they ate, they filled Honey and Mori in on the injured fawn's progress. The sweet little thing was doing wonderfully, and was due to be released in just a couple of days, much to everyone's relief. Robin had a feeling she wouldn't go far, however; the little doe had grown rather fond of being hand-fed treats, and would nudge their hands repeatedly until she got what she wanted. They were so engrossed in their own conversation, they didn't hear the twins annoying Haruhi a short distance away. They didn't notice anything, until a door creaked open, and a new voice piped up from the darkened room beyond.

"If you like toys, you should come to my Black Magic Club. We've opened a market that boasts black magic items from across the globe. We're also holding Mass around the clock. If you visit now, I might even throw in a free curse doll, you can have Belzenef as your free gift."

Robin's jaw dropped for just a second, then they leapt to their feet and rushed over.

"Neko-senpai!"

They ground to a halt in front of the barely-opened door and grinned at the black-cloaked student peeking around the corner. They could barely discern a small, but genuine, smile being returned from the shadows of his hood.

"Ah, Puck, hello. I didn't know you had joined the Host Club. It does seem to suit you, so I shouldn't be surprised."

Their little grin turned feral, as they were all set to fluster their shy senpai with a little shameless flirting. But a shiver of apprehension ran down their spine, causing them to whip around to find the danger. Which turned out to be the twins, clutching flashlights and wearing positively evil smiles.

"Supposedly, he hates bright lights. Wonder what he'll think of this?"

Before the ginger devils could do anything, Robin stormed over and wrenched the flashlights from their grasps.

"Don't even _think_ about it, demon spawn! How dare you try to do something so cruel?!"

"Aw, come on, senpai..."

"...it's just a little light."

A low growl sounded from Robin's throat as they glared at the duo. They had to remind themself that the twins weren't _really_ hateful, just mischievous and ill-informed. They took a single deep breath to calm themself before speaking again.

"It isn't _'just a little light'_ to Nekozawa-senpai. He has Heliophobia. If you were to shine those lights at him, you could cause a massive panic attack that just might send him to the hospital."

"Heliophobia?"

"What's that?"

They glanced around, but Nekozawa had disappeared already. They sighed softly and rubbed their temple; another headache was starting to form. The twins didn't seem remorseful in the slightest, but they _did_ seem interested in a non-nefarious way.

"It's a _severe_ fear of the Sun and other bright lights. Neko-senpai doesn't stay in the dark to keep up his Black Magic image. He's honestly terrified of bright lights. His phobia is so bad, being outside without his cloak causes him actual, physical pain."

"How do you know all that, Robin-chan?"

They turned back to where Honey and Mori sat, noting Honey's bright caramel eyes were wide with shock and interest. They offered a little smile and a shrug.

"Before I joined you lads, I wandered a bit, just looking around. Quite literally stumbled into Neko-senpai's club one day. I swear, some of the doors around here disappear when you're not looking directly at them, and reappear somewhere else. Feels like Hogwarts, some days."

Honey nodded and giggled, and there were murmured agreements from several others. Robin took their seat again, hiking one foot onto the chair and wrapping their arms around their knee. They rested their cheek against the rough denim, gazing around at the group.

"Neko-senpai is actually really cool, he's just totally shy. I think he's got some social anxiety or something, too. Probably why he's always got Belzenef with him; it's easier to let the puppet do the talking. Anyway. My point is, _don't_ torment him, devil twins."

The twins booed for a moment, then seemed to get utterly bored with the subject. The duo turned to Haruhi and began to pester her mercilessly. They apparently wanted to visit her house, and she refused. They refused to give up, and decided to play the "Which One Is Hikaru" game. Haruhi's instant correct answer flustered them, even more so when she gave concrete reasons for her choice. It seems no one had been able to tell the two apart before she came into their lives.

Haruhi's answer had another effect on the twins. Much to the shock of the assembled group, the inseparable twins started fighting. Vehemently, and without stop. Robin had seen their twin and triplet cousins 'fighting' the same way, and simply rolled their eyes at the display.

The next day saw more of the same. They heard the gossip all morning, and were completely bored with it by lunchtime. They met up with the rest of the group as everyone headed into the refectory. The sight before them stopped them in their tracks, however. The twins were still fighting, throwing things and shouting at each other. But they had gone so far as to change their hair colors, simply to be distinguishable from each other. Robin blinked twice at the chaos, swiftly crossed themself, and walked away. _Those two do my fecking head in. I can't deal with this right now._

After school, things were no better. The Third Music Room was in shambles. Tamaki was at his wits' end.

"Don't you guys think that maybe, it's time to give up all this fighting? It's driving me insane!"

"What'd you say? It's driving _you_ insane? You've got to be kidding me! How do you think I feel right now? Every time I look in the mirror, I see his face! I'm sick and tired of constantly being mistaken for you, Kaoru! The truth is, I hate your guts!"

 _Whoa. That was harsh._ Robin blinked in shock at Hikaru's words. Staged or not, there was a small grain of truth to parts of that little speech. They watched in silence as Kaoru produced a wooden Belzenef curse doll, then a slight grin as Haruhi got fed up and started yelling. But _oh no_ , Haruhi made a fatal mistake. She fell right into the twins' trap.

"So then what you're saying is, if we make up, we can come over to your place?"

Identical devilish grins stretched across their faces, reminding Robin of a pair of Cheshire cats. A quiet groan fell from the lips of the Irish, and they raised a hand to rub their pale forehead lightly.

"Twins with too much time on their hands are the _devil._ "

 _My sentiments exactly, Cissy._ They were sorely tempted to smack the duo, but Haruhi already had. Instead, they shrugged, patted the shell-shocked brunette on the head, and left, hoping to find solace elsewhere. As they passed the twins, however, they paused just long enough to offer Hikaru a quiet statement.

"Pink suits you, y'know. Cute."

As the temporarily-not-ginger devil gaped in shock and blushed slightly, Robin winked and grinned in a sly way. They left the room to the sounds of Hikaru stammering and Kaoru's laughter.

-Saturday, a week later-

Robin groaned and rubbed their eye, then cursed emphatically. They lay sprawled on the floor, panting and covered in sweat. Everything hurt, and they briefly wondered why they bothered to keep putting their body through such punishment. Before they could think of a satisfactory answer, a large hand was thrust into their field of vision.

"Up you get, little bird."

They glared up at Seamus, but took the offered hand anyway. With an annoyed grunt, they were hauled to their feet, where they swayed momentarily. Seamus immediately released their hand and gripped their shoulders instead, holding firmly until his sibling regained their balance. They closed their eyes, waiting for the world to stop spinning and right itself again.

"Yep. Overdid it, just like I thought."

A distressed sound from their brother made them open their eyes, then sigh quietly. Before he could say anything, they shook their head slightly and spoke again.

"I'll be fine. Just a bit dizzy, that's all."

"You shouldn't push yourself so hard, Robin."

The worry in his voice caused them to wince, guilt seeping in. They took a step closer and dropped their head onto his shoulder. Their voice was quiet and resigned.

"I have to, Shay. I have to get stronger. And I have to do it on my own, since I _refuse_ to go back to Arsehole-sensei."

Light laughter met their words, though it was tinged with anger. Despite Robin being covered in sweat, Seamus wrapped his arms around them and held tight for a moment.

"You know I never try to tell you what you can and can't do. But I would have, this time. If you hadn't quit on your own, I was going to drag you out of there. Todoroki is a heartless fecking bastard, and you could have been seriously injured."

"I know, I know. But I wasn't. I'm alright, really."

They hugged him tight and nuzzled his shoulder lightly. Seamus trembled faintly, anger rising again as he recalled the incident that had caused his sibling to quit their most recent dojo.

-Flashback-

Robin lay on the floor, clutching their abdomen and praying fervently that they wouldn't vomit. Pain racked their whole body, but that last kick was the clincher. They wouldn't be sparring again for a while. They curled into a ball, trying to make themself as small as possible. Harsh laughter rang through the dojo.

"Stay down. You aren't worth the trouble you've caused. You're pathetic. I must have had a temporary bout of insanity when I accepted a little freak like you."

Todoroki-sensei scoffed and turned his back, stalking across the room to where the other students had gathered to watch. The laughter and congratulations clawed at Robin's ears, intensifying their anxiety. And their determination.

They carefully unfurled themself from the protective ball they'd been in. Gritting their teeth, they struggled to their feet, then swayed for just a moment. They rose to their full -admittedly, not intimidating- height and held their head high. They straightened their gi, ignoring the tiny flecks of red around the collar, and readjusted the belt around their waist. They cleared their throat quietly and swiped their hand across their face, wiping away a bit of blood from their lip. When they spoke, their voice was clear and strong.

"You're the pathetic one. You're nothing but a childish bully in an adult body. You don't deserve your title or your belt, and you certainly don't deserve my patronage. _Téigh go dtí ifreann, cúl tóna._ "

They turned on their heel and strode to the door, ignoring the angry shouting of their former sensei.

-End flashback-

"It's just a few bruises, Shay. They'll heal."

"I know, little bird. I just worry."

"You worry too much sometimes."

"Well, someone has to."

Robin pulled away from the hug and grinned up at him. The pair were quiet for just a moment, then Seamus smiled back and patted them on the head. And immediately let out a disgusted sound, wiping his hand on his trousers.

"Eww, you're all sweaty."

They burst into bright laughter at his affronted tone, then shook their head, causing their ponytail to swing around and smack him in the face. A sound very like a squeal escaped his lips, and he swatted the offensive hair away.

"Gross! What is _wrong_ with you?"

"Aw, you know you love me, big brother!"

"Well, someone has to."

-A few days later-

Haruhi and Robin walked past the gates to Ouran and started down the sidewalk, chatting amiably. Before they could go far, a pair of arms encircled them both.

"Targets captured!"

"Sort of, anyway."

Robin squawked in pain and indignation and fought their way free of the laughing twin. They glared lightly, but didn't get a chance to scold the gingers. A limo pulled up beside them, and Tamaki's grinning face appeared as the window came down.

"Excellent. Take them with you."

There was no time to argue, for the twins manhandled the shocked duo into another waiting limo amid more laughter. Robin groaned and rubbed their forehead, resigning themself to whatever shenanigans the Hosts had planned. They rifled through their bag for their phone, content to go along with the mischief just so long as Seamus was made aware. They didn't want him to have any extra worry.

Finishing up the quick text, they shoved the phone back in their bag and stretched out in their seat with a little sigh. Haruhi, for her part, seemed to deflate, staring blankly out the window. Not surprising, as Robin had already lost count of the number of brainless schemes Tamaki and the twins had come up with so far. It really was easier to just go with it.

A little while later, they found themself being herded toward a public restroom in some sort of water park. Haruhi resisted adamantly, dragging her feet. But to no avail. The twins overpowered the little brunette and handed her off to... another set of twins. The identical females were dressed in stereotypical maid uniforms, and held malicious intent in their eyes.

"What do you ginger devils think you're doing this time?"

"Aw, it's ok, Puck-senpai."

"We brought stuff from our mom's swim wear line for you and Haruhi."

Haruhi squeaked and redoubled her efforts to get away. But the new twins had her in iron grips, and dragged her between the racks of swimsuits, offering wild suggestions. Robin turned back to the redheads. Kaoru patted their arm and offered a genuine smile.

"We weren't sure what you'd want to wear, senpai. There's male _and_ female stuff in there."

They were touched. Maybe the twins weren't such devils, after all. They smiled back just a little.

"That was sweet, thanks."

They bumped his shoulder with theirs as they walked past. After making sure Haruhi was decent, they strolled in and wandered through the racks, debating. They finally decided on something and dashed into a cubicle to change, selfishly leaving Haruhi to be manhandled into her own swim wear by the twin maids. When they finally made their way back out, she was waiting by the door, fidgeting and plucking at the fabric of her one-piece nervously.

"Jay-zus, Haru, can you get any cuter? My poor heart!"

Haruhi blushed faintly, then rolled her eyes at her senpai's wicked grin. Robin patted the brunette's shoulder, then linked arms with her and dragged her out to show the twins. Haruhi's outfit was pink with red stripes, wide shoulder straps, and a pretty little ruffled skirt, topped off with a matching swim cap.

Robin, on the other hand, went with a masculine outfit, sticking to black swim trunks and a purple Hawaiian themed shirt. They had liked some of the girly swimsuits, but there was no way they would show that much skin. At least until the bruises healed. They grinned at the twins -and Tamaki, who had appeared while they were changing- and laughed at the awe-struck looks.

"Isn't our little kitten just too adorable?"

The twins were all set to compliment and flirt with the brunette, but Tamaki had other plans. The blonde was bright red, and roughly thrust a yellow pullover at Haruhi.

"Put it on."

Robin rolled their eyes as he went into a miniature rant. Something about young ladies not showing that much skin. They ignored him and wandered off to explore, only to be confronted by Honey and Mori.

"Robin-chan! I've never seen you wear purple before, you look _cute!_ Wanna swim with me and Takashi?"

They smiled lightly at their senpais, even as they struggled to keep their composure. Even with the cute pink floaty covered in bunnies, there was no denying Honey's toned physique was every bit as impressive as Mori's. _Keep it together. You've seen bare chests before, knock it off._ A very slight blush crept up their cheeks anyway.

"Thanks, Honey-senpai. But I don't really feel like swimming right now. Thought I'd just lounge a bit."

Honey pouted momentarily, then brightened and offered another blinding grin.

"Ok! We can share some cake later though, right?"

"Of course, senpai. Later."

They ruffled his hair and gave him a playful nudge toward the current pool before he could think of tackling them in one of his tight hugs. A quiet sound from Mori caused them to look up. And up, up, up. Sometimes they forgot just how tall he was. _Uh oh._ The look in his slate eyes was calculating, and just a little concerned. He raised a questioning eyebrow, obviously noticing their avoidance. They smiled up at their quiet senpai and gave a little shrug. _I'm alright, please don't ask._ He stared for just a moment, then nodded and patted their head gently.

While the two upperclassmen showed off their swimming prowess, Robin flopped gracelessly into a lounge chair beside Kyoya. They could hear Haruhi complaining to Tamaki, fretting over her studying and laundry. Then she turned and asked Kyoya why his family owned a water park, when they where focused on the medical business. Kyoya launched into what Robin thought sounded like an advertisement for the place, something about busy people needing relaxation and not being able to fly to tropical destinations. They stifled a yawn, bored with the whole thing. Which grew worse when Tamaki devolved into some delusion about being soldiers on holiday.

The twins tried to get Robin and Haruhi to check out the water slides on the opposite side of the pool, but Robin was quite comfortable. Haruhi refused on principle; she didn't want to be there in the first place. The ginger duo finally gave up and pulled out water guns instead. They tricked Tamaki into playing with them by suggesting Haruhi marry both of them, then detailing their honeymoon plans.

"Daddy says no!"

Robin snorted inelegantly, rolling their eyes. They fished a well-worn paperback from their bag and settled in to read for a bit. It was one of their favorite books, but it was no competition for the distracting sights, unfortunately. Bi-colored eyes kept skipping from the pages to their club mates. And if their eyes stayed too long on a certain pair, well... It's not like anyone was paying any attention to Robin, anyway.

Apprehension raced up their spine a second before the sound of tinkling glass hit their ears. Their head whipped up just in time to see a huge wave descend on Honey, who was all alone in the current pool. They leapt to their feet with a startled cry, but it was too late. Honey was swept away.

In the following moments, everyone rushed to follow Honey, but they were blocked on all sides. By alligators, of all things. Robin was highly tempted to throttle Kyoya when he grinned and thanked them for all the data he was able to accumulate. A low growl from the Irish had him taking a step back. Eventually, they were able to find a clear path, and started forward again.

Only to be stopped by a sudden downpour. "The squall," Kyoya called it. They weren't about to let that stop them, but Mori had other ideas. His large hand snaked out and clamped onto their wrist gently, dragging them into a convenient little hut with everyone else.

"Let go, Mori-senpai! It's just some rain, and Honey-senpai's all alone out there!"

"Honey-senpai's stronger than you might think, Puck-senpai."

Haruhi's calm manner did nothing to ease their nerves. They were just about to demand their release again, when they got a good look at their quieter-than-usual senpai. His usually stoic expression was barely held in place, worry peeking out through the cracks. They sighed softly and patted his hand, still holding their wrist lightly. Something in his eyes lightened at their little smile, and he nodded, finally letting go and patting their head instead.

"Wait 'til the rain stops. Mitsukuni would be sad if you got sick."

Heat rushed to their cheeks and they glanced down at their feet to avoid his gaze. They were spared replying when Haruhi laid her hand on his arm and spoke quietly.

"He's tough, Mori-senpai. I'm sure he's fine."

"You're right."

The little smile he offered to the brunette caused something unpleasant to waken in their chest. But whatever negative thing it might have become was squashed by Tamaki's inane squeal.

"Don't tell me Mori-senpai's out for my spot as Haruhi's daddy?!"

They could hear the twins mocking him, but they were in no state to join in. They were too busy trying to keep the sudden onslaught of perverted thoughts from running through their mind. They briefly considered banging their head against a handy post. But then they noticed that the rain had stopped. _Finally!_

Mori was already on the trail, and they dashed to catch up. Hopping over bugs and a few snakes, they hurried to join him. They weren't about to let him go alone. Mori-senpai got clumsy when he was worried. They were too busy watching him, and tripped over a badly-placed tree root. They were vaguely grateful that the rain had loosened the soil; their face wasn't injured in the fall. Their ankle, on the other hand, had twisted painfully.

"Robin."

They looked up and took the proffered hand. With Mori's help, they hauled themself to their feet. Only to let out a little whimper and nearly fall again. They were saved from a second face-plant as Mori caught them easily. He swiftly gathered the silver-haired youth in his arms, much to their chagrin. They blushed again, embarrassed, but also more than a little pleased at the action.

"I'm alright, senpai. You don't need to carry me."

"Walking will make your ankle worse."

"Yeah, but-"

"No."

They huffed and rolled their eyes for form. But then they smiled lightly and looped their arms around his neck, content with their token protest. They tried _really hard_ not to think about just how good it felt to be cradled in Mori's strong embrace. They spoke quietly, no hint of playfulness or mischief in their voice.

"Thank you, senpai."

He hummed quietly in acknowledgment, the sound doing something very funny to their heartbeat. The rest of their search was relatively quiet, neither feeling the need to speak. Until an unfortunately familiar sound reached Robin's ears, accompanied by a tremor that had nothing to do with their close proximity to their senpai's bare chest.

"Um. Mori-senpai, did you just hear guns being cocked?"

Before he could reply, they were surrounded by what appeared to be a full SWAT team. Complete with guns. Guns that were trained on Robin and Mori.

"The target has been captured by a suspicious man. We'll take the target into custody."

"Target? Oi, Mori's not suspicious, you arseholes!"

One of the men grabbed Robin's arm and tried to tug them away, but Mori sent him flying effortlessly, keeping a sure grip on them the whole time. Before they could do more than whimper, the guns were trained again. Their heart sank.

"Takashi, Robin-chan, out of the way!"

Honey came flying out of the trees like Tarzan, and had the entire squadron neutralized within seconds. Robin's jaw dropped in awe as they watched, even as their heart leapt into their throat.

"Holy fecking hell."

While they were trying to catch their breath and reorder their thought process, the rest of the Hosts showed up. The twins marveled at Honey's restraint, noting that all of the strange men were still alive. At Haruhi's extreme confusion, the group detailed Honey and Mori's martial arts prowess, shocking the brunette almost catatonic.

As that was happening, the men regained consciousness, and every one fell to their knees before Honey. After apologizing profusely, several spoke up, mentioning the dojos they trained at and beaming happily that they got to meet "the great Haninozuka". One in particular caught Robin's attention, and they made a disgusted sound. Thankfully, no one but Mori heard it, and he didn't say anything. They couldn't be certain, but they thought maybe his grasp tightened just the slightest bit. But then they noticed that Honey was tugging on his arm, and discarded the notion. Of course it was only because he didn't want to drop them as he bent to let Honey pat his head.

"You did a great job protecting Robin-chan, Takashi! I bet you were pretty lonely without me, huh?"

"...I don't know if I'd say that..."

The blonde's grin was radiant. And just a little smug. Robin wondered just what _that_ was about. But they had bigger things to worry about. Namely, Mori still refused to let them walk, even though everyone was heading back to the limos to go home. They tried to argue, but a particularly nasty twinge made them grit their teeth. With a little sigh, they gave up the fight completely. They yawned quietly and lay their head on Mori's broad shoulder, only halfway listening as the others discussed the possibility of going to the beach next.

* * *

 **AN2: Ok, so I kind of glossed over the twins' fight just a little. Puck's used to that sort of thing, some of their Irish cousins do the same thing. And you might've noticed I completely skipped over the episode with Shiro Takaoji, the gradeschool boy who wants to woo his little classmate. I just...can't stand that kid. He's a brat. *Shrug* Since that whole thing never happened in this universe, Renge had no need to show up at the water park to explain Honey-senpai's calculated cuteness.**

 **Also, _"_ _Téigh go dtí ifreann, cúl tóna"_ is a new phrase, yay! Puck is definitely NOT flirting here. As we know from earlier chapters, "**cúl tóna **" means "dickhead." And the beginning of that sentence is quite literally, "Go to hell." So there we have it! Until next time, poppets!**


End file.
